If you're finding yourself saying "I still miss my ex boyfriend a year later," there are three major questions you should ask yourself. You need to analyze these feelings, figure out how to deal with them, and then make a plan of action.
1. Where are you in your life?
Figure out where you are in your life in terms of your career, your health, your social life, and your desire for a relationship. You need to figure out if missing your ex is the result of feeling something is lacking in your life (maybe a new relationship), or if you genuinely want to get back together with him.
Sometimes, we miss someone because of the positive feelings they gave us - not so much the person themselves. There might have been awful things about the relationship that you never want back, especially if twas an emotional roller coaster.
If you just miss the positive feelings, find a substitute. Maybe it means going out and meeting someone new to find a healthy relationship. Maybe it simply means making a new friend, or getting involved in a group that does an activity you really enjoy.
2. What is it you miss most?
Figuring out what you really miss about your ex boyfriend is important. Was it the emotional connection the two of you had? A certain way he treated you? Or maybe everything about him, wrapped up in one package.
When you figure out or make a list of the things you miss most, ask yourself if you can find these things in someone new. Then make a plan of action to go out, meet someone with these qualities, and start a new relationship.
Getting involved with a new guy who has the same qualities you like about your ex can help heal old wounds and forget the past.
3. Is there any chance of getting back together with your ex?
If you still see your ex, or if you know he's not heavily involved with someone else, then maybe there is a chance for the two of you to get back together. Breakups aren't as final as we think, unless the ex has moved on to a point where you know it's unwise to try to get back together. (For example, he's now gotten married and has kids.)
But if he's still single, or he's only casually dating, you might want to think about ways to at least re-establish contact with him. You might not even want to get back into a relationship together, but rather just talk again.
Many times, a beautiful friendship can result from two people who once dated getting back together as just friends. Maybe what you really want with your ex is closure, or just a friendly relationship.
So when you find yourself missing your ex boyfriend a year later, ask yourself these three questions and determine a plan of action. If nothing else, you can feel better after a breakup just by thinking through your feelings, and then deciding how to act (or not act) upon them.
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