This article will help be a great help to you if you've recently experienced an infidelity in a marriage and still have feelings for your partner. The natural first response is dealing with all the deception, anger, betrayal and devestation but if you find you still have feeling for you spouse, you will eventually want to "work" on your marriage.

You didn't get married anticipating he/she would cheat but now your up for one of the biggest challenges of your life. Learning to forgive, trust and communicate after an infidelity in a marriage is not an easy task!

The logical approach to fixing your broken marriage after the affair is for you and your husband/wife to committed to "working on the relationship".

Unfortunately, working on the relationship after an affair seldom works. Upon labelling it "working on the marriage" a shift in perception takes place and the tasks at hand suddenly become work related. This can sometimes halt progress and put additional strain on the marriage. Many couples find themselves then falling into these 5 traps.

Trap#1

Work On Communication Skills

You can work on your communication delivery skills all you want but if you don't know the correct questions to ask, it will lead to negative results.

Trap#2

Work On Meeting The Needs Of Your Husband/Wife

This can become emotionally draining and cause resentment. Ideally you need to work through your own needs first before worrying about your partners.

Trap#3

Work On Talking Out Your Feelings

After an affair this often exasperates emotional distance if not done carefully.

Trap#4

Work On Romance And Intimacy

If this is introduced back into the marriage prematurely, it can cause more damage than good.

Trap#5

Work On Appreciating Your Spouse

If forced and not done consciously, this can cause awkwardness and resentment.

The best solution to rebuilding your marriage is to first focus on yourself before you tackle the job of working on the relationship. Infidelity in a marriage causes deep wounds. Betrayal, mistrust and resentment are all fixable if you give yourself time to heal. And healing yourself first is the key!

Then and only then will it be safe to deal with your emotions and issues as a married couple.

Finding a therapist or program which has proven to help other couples through infidelity in a marriage is highly recommended and may make the difference between your marriages success or failure.

Many couples have gone throught the hell of infidelity in a marriage and come out the others side with a stonger more loving marriage. This can be done and following the lead of others who have already been through what you are going through may be the key to saving your marriage.