The other day, I went shopping for a computer. While perusing the aisles, I was unable to make a firm decision. For some reason beyond my control, my mind reflected on the words, becoming as one in a marriage. I guess those thought also came forth in my mind because a friend and I were discussing that very issue a few days ago. The point is, I could not become as one with myself because of the inter-conflict within self.

I have been married for more than thirty years, raised three children, and I do not recall being as one with my wife. I will tell you some of the things I do recall. I recall being looked at as if I was stupid if I made a wrong decision. I recall eyes being rolled at me if I refused to answer a question during the super bowl game, or if I did not take out the trash in a timely manner. Most importantly, I recall someone wanting me to forget my one or half share, and become all of her one. Had I adhered to that stipulation, I guess you could say we became as one.

During my years on this earth, I have come to understand many things about life and marriage. One of those things is, if folks cannot accept you the way you are, it would behoove you to seek comfort and peace of mind elsewhere. I believe so many people venture into marriage for many wrong reasons. Instead of probing for the inter-beauty, we are smitten by the outer-beauty, and when that phase of the marriage is no longer an issue, we find ourselves stuck in a rut.

When this occurs, the only reference to being as one is, I hope this one person in my life will get out of it. Think about it, a marriage today has about an equal chance to fail, as to succeed.

As long as we live, we can never become as one with another. Nature did not plan it that way. Juxtapose, we could become as one with another person, if that was possible, I believe nature would have defeated its own purpose. I am sure you will agree that nature created us all with the intent of carrying our own weight. Simply put, we all must be held accountable for our own actions. Not only does that apply to nature, it also applies to our criminal justice system.

If I am married and commits a crime, the police are not going to arrest my spouse simply because we are supposed to be as one. I will have to be held accountable for my own actions. Instead of arguing and fighting about becoming as one with someone, vow to respect your partner’s opinion. Since many of us have problems becoming as one with self, how in the world are we expected to become as one with another.

The arguments I mentioned before with my wife are still present. The smarter you think you are, the more disagreements you will have with others. Me, I do not care how smart someone think they are, I will not allow them to fully take me along on their thought ride. Am I kind to my spouse, yes, however, if I fully comply with her wishes and demands, I would have to search for my shoes whenever I needed them. She want to put them in a certain place, however, I insist they will be placed in an area more convenient for me. As long as you respect each other, you will be okay.