This Article is About
how to be a better person
slow learner
mom and dad
personal things
bodily functions
good woman
little knowledge
magazine article
40s
grandma
shades
50s
pleasure
money
Mother Of Mine
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

Mother Of Mine

I am in my Seventies and I am still learning how to be a better person. I guess you could say I'm a slow learner. When I was growing up I had very few thoughts about what people thought or what might hurt someone. The whole world revolved around me and what I wanted. I guess, little by little knowledge and caring trickled in.

My mom was a good woman who had a real problem with communication. She was emotionally inhibited. We never said I love you to each other. Although I knew they loved me.

In the 40s and 50s we were very secretive, unable to discuss personal things. There was no talk of sex or bodily functions. When it was time for me to know something, mom would give me a magazine article to read. Later she would ask me if I understood it. We were not a family that hugged or kissed. I never saw mom and dad be affectionate in public.

I dated some and married at 18. I think that is when I started to learn about what others were feeling. You never divorced in those days. This is why I began to understand that the world was not mine.

I never really gave much thought to why mom was emotionally stunted. I was very judgemental . There were no shades of grey. Everything was either black or white. I guess, when you are young you think you have everything figured out.

I was never very close to mom, for what ever reason. I threw out all that time I could have been a better daughter. I really regret that now...A little late huh? My mother lived in California and we lived in Nevada. I went to see her or sent money for her to come see us. Still it was more duty then pleasure. I am not proud of that now. mom passed away in 2000 at age 92. I am able to understand her more now then when she was alive. I don't get this at all, but it is how it is.

Mom was born in 1909 on a ranch in Arizona. Her mom was 16 and her father was 36. Mom was 6 months old when her father died. He was killed by a horse. Her grandma came and took the family to live with her. After a few years her mother remarried and soon died in childbirth. Again they lived with grandma. Grandma never was fond of girls so mom had no affection growing up

At 18 years old Mom married and stayed married until her husband fathered a child outside the marriage. Mom filed for divorce (which was not done) . Mom had a nervous breakdown over the divorce. After a while Mom married my father and they stayed married until my father died. She never remarried.

I am writing this all down because I don't understand why It has taken me so long to put this altogether. If I had bothered to do this when she was alive, I could have been closer to her. I was not mean to mom, but I was judgmental in my thoughts. I feel guilty for that. My husband says I need not feel badly, because we did a lot of things for her. Some how that does not sooth me. You never know what you have, until you don't have it any more.I talk to her often now. I don't know if she can hear me, but I like to think she does.

That's it for now..see you again?


Street Talk

Thanks Shawn

Reply
  about 8 years ago

What a touching story. When we stop learning we stop living. You are to the point in your life where you are dealing with your relationship with your mother, and though she is gone, this is for you, not her. I commend your courage in this.

Reply
  about 8 years ago

I love you too baby girl. Thanks you honey

Reply
  about 8 years ago
Janis 1  

I love my mother and my grandmother thats you. And I am Grateful for all the love they show me to. Sometimes we must have tough times to learn what is right. So we can treat others with love and compassion everynight :) Thank you for sharing and loving all you do. Each smile makes a difference and I'm sure your mom loved you to:)

Reply
  about 8 years ago

Thank You for reading it Mark

Reply
  about 8 years ago

I agree with your husband you seemed to have done a lot for you mum and i'm sure she appreciated it in her own way. I think your very brave putting your feelings in writing.

Reply
  about 8 years ago
You May Also Like
How to Be Better at You
Guys I am sure there has always been that thought in your mind on "how to be a better person", enjoy life more and live while doing it. Dont worry its 'only human'. I am going to go over subjects on how you can improve your ways of socialising ,…
By: Ryan21 in  Self Improvement  >  Happiness   Apr 28, 2013  
0
  Likes: 2

Playing Ukulele-learning How For Beginners
Have you just recently just took the brave step and bought your first Ukulele? Or do you have a Ukulele and want to learn how to play it properly and skillfully? The thoughts of trying to learn a musical instrument especially for people not musically gifted (just like myself, a…
By: stephen byrne in  Arts and Entertainment  >  Music Instruction   May 06, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

Keyword Tools
What are keyword tools ? Where do they come from? Are they important? Who invented them? Do I know him? I must say keyword tools do scare me a bit. Last week I really didn't know that they exsisted, you can even make money out of them. Wow you can…
By: Merle in  Home Based Business  >  Network Marketing   Mar 23, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

The Challenge Of Stone
A few days ago two things came together that demanded a story. First, I was told by the service person for the company that I grow chickens for that I needed to add more gravel---rock---stone---in front of my chicken houses and driveway. Second, was that I boasted in a recent…
By: James Voerg in  Self Improvement  >  Inspirational   Mar 09, 2013  
0
  Likes: 0

Does Postpartum Affect your Baby?
Does having Postpartum affect your Baby? I often wonder about this question. Seems several people want to know and have asked me. I just read the latest research on this and the common consensus is that, "YES, it does". However, don't go giving up on your self or your kid…
By: Korgie in  Relationships  >  Love   May 17, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

What's Missing
This is my take on what is missing in our country today. I am an older woman so this is just my opinion of how things are. When we grew up, manors were important. A child would give their chair when an older person came into the room.Children would call…
By:  in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   Jan 15, 2013  
2
  Likes: 2

What A Way to Start A Day – Don't Grow Up It's A Trap
An early start this morning had me finish my emails long before normal, a hundred a day, keeps the Doctor away, don't know so much about that, but it sure keeps one busy. With all the articles read, photos looked at and comments left on them all, I was at…
By: Rob Ainslie in  Internet and Businesses Online  >  Forums   May 03, 2012  
38
  Likes: 9

How To Start An Online Business From Home
Are you tired of working a 9-5 job that pays you barely enough to survive, with a boss who cares less about you and your family? For some people it won't matter if you find a new job because there will still be a terrible boss somewhere in the mix…
By: J.Roth in  Internet and Businesses Online  >  Affiliate Revenue   Oct 13, 2011  
2
  Likes: 2

Vtech Innotab - At Last, A Tablet Computer Just For Kids
I think it is just wonderful that with the coming of the vtech innotab, you can give your child something which they just can not fail to learn from. In the past, educational toys have often been a bit geeky and also seen as a bit boring for many. Not…
By: Jay Essvee in  Shopping and Product Reviews  >  Toys   Oct 19, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Sons And Daughters – Their Relationship With Parents
Why is there a difference in relationship between sons and daughters with their parents? What is the reason for a son having a closer affiliation with his mother than his father, yet a daughter an equal relationship with both? Do sons grow up to compete with their fathers, yet continue…
By: Rob Ainslie in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   Mar 17, 2012  
7
  Likes: 3

Creative ways for kids and teenagers to make money fast online
First and foremost is the importance of safety. We all want our kids to make money for themselves, but I strongly urge everyone reading this to make sure parents know what is happening and hopefully get them involved in the process. Actually, it will be pretty hard for anyone under…
By: Octavien in  Internet and Businesses Online  >  Ecommerce   Jun 23, 2011  
1
  Likes: 2

Inventing A Good Title for A Book
It can be pretty difficult to invent a good title for your completed book, especially if you don't know what you want the title to represent: the face of the book, or what the book means to you or whomever it was written for. A book title that poses as…
By: Kevin A.M. Lewis in  Writing and Speaking  >  Creative Writing   Dec 04, 2012  
2
  Likes: 1

Where's Betty
It was the spring of 1931 and times were very hard. After the stock market crashed, money was scarce. Many families could not feed their children. One of the casualties of the times was baby Betty June. Her mom and dad could not feed her so they gave her up…
By:  in  Arts and Entertainment  >  Short Fiction   Oct 22, 2014  
5
  Likes: 3

Her Pearl Of Great Price
I see her as she’s running, she’s intent upon her way Although I see her struggle, on the path she’ll stay. She might avoid a puddle an obstacle along the way And I know her foot might stumble But it will never stray. She runs for the finish line. Today…
By: Candy Statts in  Health and Fitness  >  Diseases   Jun 30, 2013  
0
  Likes: 0

Wedding Vows Examples
So you planned to finally tie the knot! Congratulations in advance! Let's talk about the most important part of the ceremony - the vow. This is the promise youl will give to each other and all of your family members and friends will listen to it. It's no longer like…
By: chamberlane altatis in  Relationships  >  Wedding   Jun 26, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Article Views: 1524    Report this Article