When finally Christmas time comes, the pressure is on. We want it to be the best Christmas ever without the mistakes of the previous ones, and oh that task is never easy to accomplish! So what is YOUR story? Are you a person who enjoys the festivities with your loved ones or are you dreading the holidays like many others around you?

Tis’ the Season to be Jolly, or Not..?

The time leading up to Christmas has a definite toll on relationships. In our everyday lives we are too busy to spend time too much time together and we tend to forget all the problems that come from it! When Christmas season comes it brings along with it the stress of the financial costs that incur, the task of spending time in close proximity with your partner and dealing with other family and friends as well.

The Family Mediation Helpline reported that during Christmas and New Year, the ‘jolly’ holiday season as they say, nearly 2 million people consider breaking up with their partners. Relate, the relationship support advisory body, also reported that they expect a 50% growth in the couples that would come to them seeking help. Despite it being a season of celebration, business of counselling bodies and divorce lawyers boosts up. A survey was conducted of 100 UK law firms and 2,000 married, divorced or separated couples and it was discovered that for almost one in five marriages which makes up about 19 per cent, partners suggested likelihood of a divorce, and January to be the busiest month for divorce lawyers.

Let’s not forget about the most common New Year tradition, the New Year’s resolution, which is a way for us to look forward and work towards a change. It is seen as an opportunity to start fresh and as the say, out with the old in with the new. No doubt law firms experience a surge in business in the month of January, but on the other side there seems to be an increase in traffic on Internet dating sites as well. This is because with all the New Year changes to look forward to, meeting your soul mate seems to be one of them. You want to forget your old partner and move on and this seems to be the right time to do so. But don’t you think that it’s at least worth a shot to save the relationship with the person you went through so much with despite all the arguments over Christmas or the screams and glares over your turkey dinner?

So What Should You Do?

As more time passes with your partner, the more difficult it becomes to buy gifts for each other every year. It is not surprising that you run out of ideas and it adds a whole new pressure on you about choosing the right and unique gift, cost being the least of your problems. So who says you have to be materialistic all the time? Why not come up with thoughtful gifts this time around. You can make a personalised card, arrange a day at a spa to relax or just simply plan to spend time together over a nice meal and drinks.

There are some easy ideas that you can try to save your relationship with failing. It is something that we are aware of but when the time comes we forget to try them.

Communicate

Sit down with your partner and tell them what’s on your mind. Follow the 5 second rule, count to 5 before responding so that you have a moment to think instead of reacting harshly.

‘What I Love About You’

This is a simple game you can play with your partner. Sit facing each other and simply take turns to tell three things that you love about each other. You can even write them on a folded piece of paper and pass it to each other. This makes your partner feel appreciated and makes you realize why they are so special to you.

Take a Step Back –

Take action when it comes to your values instead of reacting emotionally. Be how you want to be and maintain your integrity despite how your partner is acting. This way you get the message across about how you want your relationship to be.

Breathe

Staying calm is key. Never lose your cool no matter how unreasonable the other person is being as it makes you say thing that once said, can’t be taken back and you are just left with regrets. Take deep long breaths to help clear your mind and think rationally.

So at the end of the day there are three things you can try when your relationship is going through a crisis. Stay and do nothing letting it get worse with time, leave or have the willingness and commitment to deal with the problems that arise and find a way to work around them.

We at Swan Transformations are well informed about the challenges couples face on a daily basis, and we understand how Christmas time magnifies these issues making couples break apart and give up when it all becomes too much. If you are going through any such dilemmas, Swan Transformations is a place which offers an alternative approach to traditional relationship counselling by taking couples away onto our Relationship retreats where they can relax and communicate effectively away from daily life problems and people. We also provide expert help and support to such couples so that they can fight through this if they are willing to make their relationship work.