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You ever had someone give you relationship advice that does not have a functional relationship themselves? I mean they want to help, but really they lack the experience and understanding required to help? People who give relationship advice should at least have some authority on the subject. How can you help anyone if you have no personal experience?
I'm reminded of a person that I knew early in my marriage who tried to give my husband and me a bit of relationship advice during one of our intense moments. This person had no experience at all in marriage. We all had been married for a short amount of time, and lacked experience. Now don't get me wrong, if you can help, the help is appreciated. But if you have no experience; meaning if you have nothing to draw from and you lack the ability to identify with my issue, then refer me to someone who can give me sound relationship advice that will help me!
Today, people who seek advice from certified counselors and clergy members are looking for ways to fix their situations. It takes a lot for some couples to first own the fact that they need help. That's the reason situations are out of control when couples finally reach a counselor; because it took a little time for them to realize that they needed outside help. So at a least, the person providing the relationship advice should have something that will help to resolve their issue.
Now we all know that no one has all the answers; and that is okay. But when we see that we cannot help a person, we should not try to offer something that we don't have. Experience is the greatest asset that anyone could offer. I would rather listen to a person who has acquired experience through the things that they have suffered, than to listen to a person who only has book knowledge. Please understand, I respect people who have taken the time to get an education, I have a Master's Degree...but when I need help in my relationship, I want to receive from someone who has walked a mile or two in my shoes.Those are the types of people who can show me the ropes when I am in trouble!
When a couple has experienced issues, and they made it through those issues; it gives the inexperienced hope... It helps to see that if someone else made it through the same issue that I am experiencing in my relationship, then I can make it through this issue also. Believe it or not, experiences are lessons. We can choose to either learn the lessons of life through our situations, or we can reject them. If we choose to learn the lesson, then we will have something to share with someone else later down the road who needs help; and we will gain knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. However, if we choose to reject the lesson then we run the risk of having to face that situation again until we can pass the test.
Maybe you and your mate are in a tough place today, I want to tell you that after the storm has passed, you will be better, and you will be able to help someone else when they are faced with a tough situation. We thank you in advance for your wisdom and contribution!
Blogg: Do you appreciate talking to someone who has experience or education when receiving relationship advice? Let's blog about it.
When receiving relationship advice is it hard to see yourself as the problem? Lets blog about it.
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