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step parents
biological parents
biological parent
negative feelings
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The Key To Being A Great Step Parent
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The Key to Being A Great Step Parent

Tips On Being a Supportive Step Parent

Children who do not have the privilege of growing up with both their biological parents often resent the step parent, because often at times they have the attitude that it is not their biological parent. In addition to that, they may also feel somehow that the step parent had something to do with the fact that their biological parent is not around.

The world that we are living in today is filled with families that have had to be blended, either as a result of divorce or death. There are always rumors about step parents being from hell, however the children can also make the arrangement a living nightmare for the parents. The focus right now will be on tips on being a supportive step parent, because at times parents do need the help on being great parents, especially if that is something that they want to contribute to the child’s life.

As a step parent, you will need to understand that your step children have had their family torn apart or broken down, and they will have some negative feelings about that which they may be projecting onto you. As a way of coping with the loss of not having one of their biological parents, they may be acting out on you, but the good thing is that you are the parent, therefore you know better.

You can help the children transition into the new family structure and though it may not be easy to win them over, it is doable if you have the love, dedication and show them the support that they need.

You may be over eager to treat the children as your own, which is a great thing, however you need to understand that your step children need to spend time with their biological parent, and that will exceed the time that they want to spend with you. You as the parent need to understand that and give that relationship the time and the space that it deserves. Some step parents may be engulfed with feelings of jealousy that the child wants to spend more time with their biological parent, however, this is only natural and it will pay off in time about you being seen as a great and a supportive parent.

Your primary concern should be for you to do what is best for them, in the same way you would want for your children. These are children after all, and whatever uncomfortable situation that could have arisen between the parents is none of the child's fault. Your primary role as a step parent is to be supportive, to be kind and to be loving to those children.

A lot of the times the step parent will be judgmental about the way the children are treated, in a way to highlight those differences. This is something that you should try very hard not to do, because it can only end badly.

Your step children just like your very own children will need to be disciplined when they step out of line. A great tip about being a supportive step parent is to let your partner take the lead on disciplining their children, because then you will avoid a lot of the things that can be said from that. Partake on the task but share the responsibility wisely. The main thing you should do is being supportive for your partner, and this is even more important when the step child is older or if they are in their teenage years.

The same way you spend time with your children, you will need to spend time with them also, and it is important that this time be spent doing something that they enjoy. This will give them a sense that you care about them and they matter to you, which is very important.

Situations when they need your input or advice will arise, and the best thing you can do is to not be judgmental about whatever it is they ask you about. How you deal with this and the advice that you give them will be crucial as it will determine whether they come back to ask for more advice in the future, so you need to do your best to give it from an unbiased perspective. This can definitely increase the bond and the trust between the two of you or it can make things worse by messing things up, so you need to tread carefully.

I have been fortunate and have raised three great step children that I call my own. That was from very hard work and dedication. Being a parent is hard, and it is especially hard when it is not your biological child as you have to deal with the excess issues. Just keep in mind that you need to utilize all the tips on being a supportive step parent, while you are making them feel loved and treating them as your own children.


Street Talk

Kenny is my brother - in - law and has blended well with our family! He has been an excellent role model and a wonderful parent to my sister's children. He explains everything so simple above..........but I know it has not been easy at times for him, yet he always succeeds in being supportive and dedicated to those children/ now adults. A very good accumlation of information, Kenny. Well said, as I've been both a parent and step-parent as well. I believe "trust" is the key ingredient in all relationships, especially step-parenting!!

Reply
  about 7 years ago
Kira  

Ken is my step-dad and he is awesome! I always know that I can come to him and not feel judged.. I know that he will support me no matter what ( and trust me I've pushed the limit :) he is right about everything he wrote in this article.. I could not of asked for a better stepdad!!!

Reply
  about 7 years ago
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