If you've been the unfortunate recipient of an unexpected or unwanted breakup, you may feel lost, hopeless and hurt. You don't understand why this happened and all you really want is to pretend like it never did. You want to get things back to the way they used to be, when you and your ex were happy and in love and breaking up wasn't even a part of the equation.

The good news is that you can get your relationship back. The bad news is that it's going to take a lot of time, effort and thought to make it a reality. The last thing you want is to make an already bad situation worse. That means you have to start thinking before you act and you have to plan ahead and avoid impulsive reactions. That's the only way that reconciliation is going to be possible, and you can create a real chance at succeeding.

You are more than likely familiar with jealousy - especially if you've recently gone through a particularly painful breakup. The thought of your ex with someone else that's not you is consuming and deadly and it sets your nerves on edge. That's precisely the reason that jealousy is one of the most powerful emotions in the world - and why it can also be a valuable weapon in your arsenal. Jealousy is not something you can start waving around willy nilly, however. You need to be extremely careful or it can backfire significantly. When it comes to an ex, it's often tempting to do whatever it takes to make that fire of jealousy run wild - but that's not going to end up positively for either of you. It's all about how you put it into play and learning to use it in moderation. Does that mean you should put jealousy into play solely for the purpose of trying to get an ex back?

In short, the answer is most definitely no. If you act in a manner that blatantly rubs your ex's face in the fact that you're dating again or that you're interested in something else, you're going to seem needy, desperate and hungry for attention, no matter what form it takes. This is going to send your ex running for the hills faster than you can blink, and it's going to slam the door on your eventual possibilities quickly. If you take this course of action, you're basically blowing your shot - and your actions will have pretty much determined that it was the only chance you were going to get.

Jealousy cannot simply be thrown into the equation at will. You have to expect consequences as a result of your choices and actions, and if jealousy is the direction you go in, you need to be aware of the potential blowback. That's why you should only consider dating again when you're ready - and not solely for the potential benefit of making your ex jealous.

There is absolutely no reason for you to feel guilty about your desire to branch out socially, and if you find yourself in a scenario where you have the potential to date, it's ultimately up to you if you decide to take the chance or not. You don't have to date someone new if you're not ready - and you don't want to push yourself too fast and run the risk of having it backfire on you.

Dating should be an option when you feel that you're genuinely ready and up to the challenge. Starting a new relationship can be exciting but scary simultaneously, and if you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to continue. Take your time and examine why you're really considering dating. If your motives are purely for someone else's benefit and not your own, you may want to rethink your strategy, step back a few paces and try to wrap your mind around what you really want - before jumping across that bridge and realizing too late that you're unable to go back.

The fact of the matter is that a soon as you start seeing someone new, your ex is going to notice it. It doesn't matter if your relationship ended two months or eight months ago, it's going to show on their radar. They may have been in denial of their true feelings, and the underlying jealousy may catch them completely off-guard. Jealousy is incredibly powerful - even more so when it's not created purposely to get a desired result. You may get a phone call or text from your ex when you're least expecting it, and it may lead to a reconnection that you had all but given up on entirely.

Don't trap yourself in a corner where you think that jealousy is the only means to an ultimate end. It's not the only option out there - not even remotely. There are lots of ways that you can start the process of winning back your ex's heart without jealousy even entering the picture. Make sure you leave your options open and don't limit your potential by only focusing on one, relatively minor aspect. The more open you are to various possibilities, the higher chance you have of winning your ex back for good.

What To Do Next

Rather than looking for ways to make your ex jealous, you should be concentrating on more positive techniques that will make your ex miss and want you instead. The no contact rule can help you with this.

Avoiding these break up mistakes will also go a long way in making your ex see you positively. Most people do not think that they are doing anything wrong, so make sure that you are not subconsciously giving off negative signals to your ex.