Old age homes, where you go to die?

The adage that one retires to a home for the aged to see out the last days of one's life, has taken on a whole new meaning for me. You see, due to circumstances beyond our control we've been forced to place my mother in one. Not because she can't look after herself at 86, but our accommodation has changed.

My mother has always stayed with us since my father passed on. She has lived in a cottage within our property, near enough if she needs us but far enough for privacy sake. She suffered an aneurysm behind her eye which has blinded her in that eye, so she needs us. We have recently moved in with my daughter and son-in-law for a short semester and we found this place for Mom.

The guilt I felt when loading her off and seeing her settled in, blameworthiness. I suppose she felt the same every time she took me back to boarding school. We live not more than twenty-five minutes from her and see her regularly. Should I feel guilt? Not any more, on every occasion we collect her for shopping, or just for a visit, we hear all the stories and gossip. These stories are unbelievable.

The one we heard this very morning, when she arrived at the dining hall for breakfast, she, accosted by others and asked “Who died last night?” My mother being the real “lady” answered “Well not me, and good morning to you too.” I found this hilarious, when I asked why the urgency to know, her answer “They are wishing for the chance to get a single room.” A rumour started, and the concern not for the person, but rather for a single room.

My mother is not a rumour monger or gossip, but she will relate to us all the goings on in the home. As this is a fully mixed home with no barriers between sexes, like school, the goings on priceless. If the thought that when one ages you sit and wait for the day, then it certainly is not happening in this facility. Who is visiting with whom, who is fighting with whom and all such stories related to us in detail.

The home visited by different church groups, who act and sing for the oldies. Performers of differing styles and genres visit and hold a sing along. Church ministers that hold services within the home, groups that deliver presents at Christmas and other holidays. Mom is better off now than when staying with us.

I ask today if she would like to rejoin us when we move, the answer a resound no, her wish to stay for ever. I, adverse to the thought of staying in a similar place when of that age, slowly changing my mind. Sounds good fun.