Building high self esteem in children puts them on the right path to achieving their highest potential in every area of life. Children with healthy self esteem are generally optimistic, confident and are better equipped to handle the problems and pressures of life. Here are 3 essential activities for building self esteem in children that you can start applying to today to boost the self esteem of every child you come in contact with:

1. Encourage positive self-talk

In order for us to successfully build self esteem in the children around us, we must discourage any form of negative self-talk. Self-talk are the thoughts we focus on that support a positive or negative attitude that we have. Often I hear children use phrases such as “No body likes me”, “I stink at math” or “It’s always my fault” that puts them down and diminishes their self esteem. These statements become self fulfilling prophecies if they are allowed to take root in their young minds and grow.

We can support children in practicing positive self talk by helping them find at least 2 positive phrases that describes them to replace the negatives ones and encouraging them to use them as often as possible as possible. Have them write down the positive phrases or draw pictures in a notebook or journal you provide them with so they can refer to them in the future. Cultivating positive thoughts, constructive thoughts in the minds of children is vital to them developing into confident, well adjusted young people.

2. Provide at least 5 minutes of undivided attention.

This is crucial to building self esteem in children. Simply giving a child your undivided attention frequently can raise their self esteem. Give a child at least 5 to 10 minutes of your undivided attention to talk about their day, sing, dance, tell a story, read a book or any other thing they would like to do. Support the child by listening, singing along, clapping which will encourage their self expression and build self confidence.

3. Teach positive affirmations for defense against negative remarks.

I can think of very few things that hurt a child’s confidence and self esteem more than mean, negative comments being hurled at them by others. These negative comments are called put downs. The next chance you get, talk to a child about put downs and how they make them feel. Give the child about 5 minutes to come up with the put downs they hear most often which will be remarks such as “you’re so stupid”, “you’re ugly”, “You make me sick”.

Teach the child positive affirmation(s) to repeat to them self whenever someone puts them down and have them practice it. Here’s a suggestion to get started: “No matter what you say or do to me I’m still a good person”. Take a few minutes and come up with positive remarks, or pull ups, that neutralize the put downs and share them with the child: “You’re so smart”, “You pretty/handsome”, “I’m so happy when you’re around”. Talk about the comments they like to hear best, and role play with them how they can use pull ups with others.

Effective activities for building self esteem in children don’t have to cost a lot of time, money or energy. Encouraging positive thoughts, giving your undivided attention and promoting self affirming pull ups are all effective ways of consistently raising a child’s self esteem. With these fresh ideas in mind, start making plans for your next opportunity you may have in building self esteem in children.