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human character
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A View On Codependency Based On My Own Experiences
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A View on Codependency Based on My Own Experiences

I created this site because codependency fascinates me. But among my family, friends and even all my acquaintances, I cannot find one person who is familiar with this concept.

I certainly do not have the knowledge to start a scientific discussion on this subject. Beyond that, as I explained in my welcome word on the homepage of this site, that my aim is it to reach as much people as possible. Too many fellow sufferers have to deal with their unrecognized characteristic possession. To get this word to them all, I think a pragmatic approach will be much easier and better.

How did a come across codependency?

About two years ago I published a book in Dutch called “Handboek voor het leven,“ which means in English; “Manual of life.” The book describes the first 15 years of my life. (The English version is coming soon).

One of the readers mentioned the word "codependent" in his comment. A word from which I never had heard.

After reading the definition of that strange unknown word I was captivated immediately.

Reason: I realized right away that my character was clearly the same as what the definition told me.

It also explained to me the present origin of my nature. And lastly, it told me that I was not born with that nature. Circumstances in the years of my early existence had taken away a piece of my inherited character and put back in its place something else which, as it were, created the reformation of my whole personality. As is the case for everyone, the human character largely determines one's life course, as my re-formed character did for me.

A momentary look back at the life I lived and the many controversial events made me decide to have a deeper look into the person; P.J. Grieten.

However, it is not easy to submit yourself to self-examination. You are soon inclined to place a not so nice part of your character in a more favorable perspective. You are also willing to put a vexing or a nasty event into a different light.

But my ambition was to keep my research as clinical as possible. My standard was; facts are facts, the past is not lying, and you cannot hide the truth. What has happened has happened.

Proceeding in that way I found out that almost everything I've done, good or bad, was orchestrated by my twisted soul.

Because my intention is to use the ordinary and extravagant events that occurred in my life, to create a salient conversation I do not further elaborate on this research yet.

However I would like to disclose a few aspects of my conclusion.

The first conclusion is packed into three sentences:

1. Acknowledge and accept that Codependency is in your genes and is therefore transferable. So it is hereditary.

2. Ignoring yourself for another is not a cowardly act. You cannot change that because it is inside you.

3. Never blame another because he/she benefits from you. It is meaningless because you are the source.

Through this research, my life has become a lot easier, mainly thanks to these two guidelines.

1. Recognize that the other cannot be guilty for your inability to stand up for yourself.

2. Accept that "the survival of the fittest" counts for all life on this earth. It might even be necessary for life to succeed!

And a last bit of advice:

These days codependency, especially in the western world, is a much more well-known phenomenon than it was maybe even 10 years ago. Help is at your hand.

But if you feel that you need help, find it as soon as possible. Realize that the longer you wait the longer it will take to cure.

I would like to invite you to post your opinions or comments here below.

I will answer your comments with the true events of my life.


See you soon, Peter

Street Talk

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