There seem to be a lot of myths floating around concerning curing social anxiety disorder. Everywhere you go, there seems to be different advice, strategies, and techniques to overcome this emotional beast. So in this article, I'm going to discuss a lot of what NOT to do and then the few essential things that actually will make a difference.

The DoNot's

So, what are some lies that you've probably believed (like I did) about overcoming this social phobia? Well here are a few that I got sucked into - time spent I wish I could have back. First of all, affirmations will not cure your social anxiety. Sure they can help in the immediate short term to help you take a specific action or make a decision. In the long term, they make things worse by inducing a phenomenon called cognitive dissonance.

Another lie about shyness is that you just need to correct your thinking. While this is true, it is not as it appears. Yes, it is a distorted perception of the world that is causing your social anxiety. This paradigm is stored in your subconscious mind - your habit center. Thus, you cannot just go in and make "edits" although I wish you could. Instead, by pursuing corrective experiences and taking action against your anxiety, your thinking WILL change. In short, you cannot change your beliefs by thinking alone.

The Do's

What is the antidote to severe social anxiety? Well you can conclude that social anxiety is an inhibitory - or control - mechanism. Its purpose is to make you act in specific ways and avoid acting in others. So how do you counter this? Easy, by taking opposite action. You need to convince your subconscious that everyday social situations or public speaking is not dangerous, and, therefore, not warrant for the fight or flight response.

Start facing your fears a little at a time on a regular basis. Don't go gung-ho at first as you may lose heart. Just work on one trigger per day per week. Maybe it's making eye contact and cracking a small smile at the grocery store cashier. After enough instances, you'll be making full smiles without even realizing it and maybe enjoying some small talk.

After each experience, consciously evaluate what happened and confirm that it was not dangerous even if you did experience some disapproval or judgment. This is when you go into your mind and reaffirm to yourself that you survived and you could do it again. Once you begin doing this on a regular basis, only then will you begin to see - but most of all FEEL - a change...and it's wonderful - leaving your social anxiety in the past.