Getting My Womanhood Back
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Getting My Womanhood Back

When I had my first child, there was no evidence that I was pregnant. It was the end of April and spring had fully settled in . A week after delivering, I remember throwing on a belly shirt, a pair of shorts, some thong sandals and running out the door. I was young, nineteen and wasn't ready to accept nor step into motherhood. My biggest priority at that time was keeping my appearance. So after I had my first child, I made sure that giving birth did not slow that process down.

It was the same with my second child. Now twenty one, I still wasn't ready to start to accept my responsibilities as a mother. My physic was still good as if I didn't give birth and I was still obsessed with being a fashionista. I continued to shop at my favorite stores, stayed with fresh manicures and pedicures. Hair was always nice and I kept my repetitions image my first priority. Appearance meant a lot to me and I didn't want anyone or anything to bring that to a halt. Of course I made sure my children was fashionable my equal. I kept there hair done, bought them expensive shoes and clothes and was never seen in the streets without me and my children looking up to par.

As my third child came along, my reputation as a fashionista started to take a turn. I found myself, obviously, low on finances, (at least for myself), and it seemed every time I made an attempt to do something nice for myself, I would get caught up in a mommy moment. I started to accept, and enjoy being a mother. I was doing less for me and more for my children. I would go on shopping trips in hope of treating myself to something new but would always get distracted by a child's clothing store, or toy store. I rarely returned home with new merchandise for myself but my hands would be full of kids clothes, shoes, toys and gifts, just because.

Then the twins came. By this time I was ten years into my motherhood and my children became my life. Everything I did was centered around them. Most of my decisions I made was a reflection of my children and who I was a mother. But six months after my twins was born, I noticed that I had not purchased one single thing for myself in almost three years.

I remember when we moved to our first house and as I was unpacking it hit me. I had not bought me new outfit in quite some time. Of course I had to get personal necessities but other than that, my womanhood was lost. I had not been to a hair shop in ages. I didn't notice the serious need for a pedicure. And I was wearing my hair pulled back in a ponytail for way too long.

I looked in the mirror, (which is something I really have not done in awhile either) and I wasn't depressed about the weight I haven't lost but about the fact that, I was not taking care of myself.

My life became so busy, and so full of just the kids that I was not taking care of myself and my persona needs. I never had time to bask in a tub of hot bubbly water and relax. I didn't have time to do my at home facials or the hot oil treatments I was giving myself once a month. My hair was falling out, my feet was crusty, and my body was full of hair because I was way over due for a wax job.

Yes I am a mother of five children, twins included as I mentioned and yes I am a single parent but I realized the importance of equilibrium between my motherhood and my womanhood. I found myself depressed. At the end of the day when all my duties were done as an employee and a mother all I wanted to do was rest. I didn't care about anything else. My day was successful and productive because my boss was happy and so were my children, but deep inside of my, I was the one suffering. I was putting everything and everyone before myself and my needs and as a result my self esteem shot way down.

It wasn't until I ran into a friend that I had not seen in some time. A female friend and she pointed it out to me. She gave it to me plain and simple, "you look a mess". After I left her, I went in the house, took a good look at myself in the mirror and affirmed her accusation. I DID LOOK BAD. And I felt as bad as I looked. That day I made up in my mind that I was going to get my womanhood back. Throw out the granny panties, cut the wolf eyebrows off and get the scales off my feet.

I got a sitter for my children and I spent two hours pampering myself. Let me tell you, when it was all said and done, I felt like a whole new woman. I felt more confident as a woman. I felt prettier. I left like more than a mom.

Ladies, whether your a single parent or not, It is so important for our emotional and mental well being that we keep up our appearance. We don't have to shop for the latest fashions, get a $100 hair do or make any kind of purchases, cause I sure didn't. But it is vital that we take some time away from our daily stressors to pamper ourselves. The demands of this life can put a damper on our womanhood, can pull us away from tending to our personal needs but this is a very imperative part of being a woman. Throwing on some lip gloss, putting our hair up in a nice sophisticated due, painting our nails or toes, rubbing on that smell good lotion. These little things matter.

So, I have set aside some time each day for myself and if I can't get everything done that I planned to do for myself, I make sure I do something. It's still difficult to manage that time, but I make it a priority in indulge in my personal needs everyday, if only for thirty minutes.

keeping up our appearance will help with our self esteem levels and our self confidence. It makes us feel good on the inside and we look on the out :)


Street Talk

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