From childhood, everyone grows up learning how to deal with rejection in different areas of their lives. The reasons people experience rejection will vary and so will their reactions to it. By adulthood most of people will have experienced a fair amount of rejection at work or in relationships and although they might sometimes say ‘never again, they generally pick ourselves up and move on. However, there are times when the rejection or fear of rejection has a detrimental impact not only someone’s self-esteem or self-confidence, but it also makes them adverse to having another go. Learning how to deal with rejection effectively in a variety of contexts is essential for people’s long term success.

Here are my top tips for learning how to deal with rejection. Different solutions apply in different circumstances, so take action on any points that resonate with you.

Accept it’s normal: One of the key factors in learning how to deal with rejection is accepting that rejection is normal. It happens all the time and it’s important that you build up the resilience to deal with it.

Don’t become a victim: No one denies that rejection is horrible, but you make it a great deal worse if you turn yourself into a victim. It’s a poor strategy that will only hurt yourself. Your self- esteem may have taken a huge battering, but it’s important that you do everything to build it up again.

Don’t take it personally: Of course if a relationship has broken down, or someone is very critical of your work, it’s going to feel very personal indeed. However, the reasons for rejection may not be about you, it may be about the other person. And this is true in many different circumstances when we experience rejection, so it’s important not to cling onto negative feelings and bounce back as soon as possible.

Be honest with yourself: When you’re rejected, break down what has happened and see what part you had to play in the rejection. Think about what you can learn from it, and what if anything you could do in the future. Be careful though not to let negative self-talk creep in, which will hold you back.

Ask for feedback: If you’re struggling to come to terms with rejection don’t let what has happened just eat away at your self-esteem. Ask for feedback. This may be from a friend, a colleague or a relative. Just choose someone who you can talk through situations clearly and give you an honest perspective.

Take action: If you’re learning how to deal with rejection more effectively that not only means learning any lessons from the experience, but it also means moving forward and trying again. Don’t allow any sort of rejection prevent you from having another go. Trying to avoid the risk of rejection won’t in fact insulate you from the possibility of it happening. The more risks you take, the more chances you have of being rejected, but your chances of success are also likely to increase.

Welcome new opportunities: Part of learning how to deal with rejection means leaving yourself open to new opportunities and welcoming them when they present themselves. It’s important that you don’t become too scared to take a risk.

It can be very tempting when you experience rejection to try and protect your self-esteem and insulate yourself from further rejection. Rejection is normal and it’s important to remember to use different strategies to learn how to deal with it effectively.