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Self Esteem And The Recession
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The more money a person has, the more self esteem you would think he/she has. But the person doing the thinking usually has a lot less money than the person who has the money. And the recession hasn't helped matters one bit as many people who had money and success have neither today.

Practically all of us get the message in our formative years and up through high school that having a wealth of money is where it's at. That people with money are rich and that people without money are poor and it's not good to be poor.

All during school years it's normal to be comparing your family with other families that may appear to have more money. Those families without money pass messages of inferiority to their children.

The irony is that families with money also pass inferiority messages to their children. They want their children to measure up and instead of giving them the message that they are great just the way they are they dangle the carrot. There's another irony and that is even though a family might have money (in the eyes of a poor person) they never have as much as others who have even more money so they are never good enough even in their own eyes.

One of my clients years ago was a doctor who lived in this gorgeous mansion with his wife and two children. The problem was that he was not a good human. He barked commands at his wife and his children. Maybe he was like that because he didn't earn enough money to pay for the mansion. More likely he was like that because his father or moter was like that. It was like he was the master and everyone else was subservient to him. I could only think of the years of therapy his children are going to require and his wife, when she wakes up, will also require therapy as there is one big question. What was her need to have this behavior in a spouse?

So the result is that people with money don't have enough money and those who know they have no money constantly wish they had money. What impact is this on self esteem? Simple. No one has any self esteem because in their minds they are poor in comparison to someone else.

By now I am hoping that as you may be reading this you can see that if you base your self esteem on the amount of money you have or in comparison to others you will never experience self esteem. You can also expand this thinking to see that comparing your physique or what you weigh with other's appearances will never bring you self esteem.

Sure, most of us aspire to have money and all the things we know it can afford us. But the reality is that at any given time in our lives we may be broke. Broke as opposed to poor. We think of poor people in the ghettos. We think of millionaires going broke and then getting it all back or at least some of it. So even if you live in a ghetto, think of yourself as being broke rather than poor.

True self esteem is never the result of having money or success. True self esteem comes with knowing and liking self even though you may not live up to your expectations. It is truly allowing yourself to be disappointed in the outcomes of your endeavors, managing stress, conquering emotional eating and saying, "I'm disappointed and I still like me." It is choosing to like you no matter what. And it takes practice to build self esteem.


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