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sense of urgency
true feelings
taking my time
Feelings Vs Impulses
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This topic reminds me of the majority of my biggest mistakes in life, and now when I rethink about it, it all makes sense. And I`m laughing and laughing … and you know why is that? Well, because till a while back I used to be a very rebellious person, and I would always react upon those strong sensations, full of adrenaline, which were telling me that, if I won’t do anything about it right at that moment, then something really bad is going to happen, these kind of sensations are called, impulses. I think you know what I`m talking about.

We all get to feel them, but what distinguishes them from the “true” feelings is the intensity. Impulses spike quicker, they are like coming out of nowhere causing a great sense of urgency to do something about it immediately.

Over the course of our lifetime, we get familiar with certain impulses and we simply accept them as normal facts, simply because they are intense. The repeated responses that we get from these, it’s the adrenaline itself, which is known as being that specific hormone in our body that goes into our bloodstream at the time when we feel threatened.

When we are reacting upon the impulse, we end up yelling, we become defensive, doing anything to protect ourselves from what appears to be a threat.

With the time, I personally learned how to slowly control myself in this kind of situations, most of the time I succeed, but obviously not always, because I don’t have the absolute control over myself at all the time. What I have noticed is that, by allowing myself to be that explosive person over and over again, it just brings me into the situation in which I end up hurting myself or simply damaging my relationship with the person involved in the argument. It took me a lot of time to admit that I’m a person that reacts upon impulses, but now that I let go from myself a bit as well, I try to control more often my reactions especially when I have to deal with difficulties. I’m taking my time, instead of offering a quick negative answer as I used to, now I’m just smiling at first, then I might have a quick look around, steal some time to relax my tension, but pretend that I’m taking my time to think about it.

Feelings on the other hand are less intense and they don’t go away until you do something about it. A good example for this would be that you slapped somebody and feel guilty about it, and to get rid of this guilt you would simply need to offer an apology to that person. In this case, you can steal as much time as you want, hoping that the feeling will go away in the same way as it goes when you are dealing with the impulses, but the guilt would only get worse as you try to ignore it, because these true feelings rarely go away and if they do, it will take a lot of time.

Those women that don’t end up a relationship based on an impulse will always be better off. This is what happened with me recently. To be honest, I have been in a long term relationship with this so called love of my life, and from the beginning I was a very stubborn person and always reacting upon impulses. He used to say that I’m always exaggerating, but I never had any similar experiences and didn’t had from where to learn at that time, I was simply just following my impulses, until a very close friend followed my attitude with the time and asked me nicely to do something about it, else I will have a lot to lose. Stubborn being, after quite some time I decided to dedicate some time to myself. I felt the urge to show the world that if I’m really that bad, I can change my mind set by using the stubbornness in a good way. As my ex and I were mostly arguing for the last few months up to a year of the end of the relationship, one night I simply couldn’t control my anger and decided to end it with him. It was my decision and as everyone even saw it, they were all saying that as usually I’m just breaking up based on an impulse … so … when I heard that, I decided to give myself some time to cool down and see if I would still feel the same way. I needed to be calmer and in a more self-assured emotional state that wouldn’t leave regrets, and not just allow myself to end it, just because I have to, but because I have literally lost my interest and energy of swallowing up certain things. I saw that he fits the figure of the man that I would date, but not of the man that I want to marry with.

Have you ever experienced this with a boyfriend that you tried to like? Was he that good fit on paper? The one that everyone liked him and you wish you could so you tried and tried feel romantic about him, even date him for a couple of a few months or even years. Then you tried to give it some time, until one day under the shower, a whisper spoke to you and told you “It’s all in vain. It’s not going to work. It is okay, it’s just normal. You don’t have to keep trying anymore.” At that very moment you feel free, without any little bit of guilt and regrets. And you know whys that? Because you have given yourself sometime out, you waited, you gave your feelings a chance to sort out your thoughts, you even gave him the time he needed to realize a few things as well … and there it is … at the right time, the right answer comes along as well, and that is such an amazing feeling. You feel alive again!

So, my dears … if you want to always have part of that peaceful silence inside of your soul and be able to wake up fresh, glowing and all ready to go, just take your time, think about what is happening, analyze quietly and go with the flow and never forget to keep yourself positive.

Now the key is in your hands and you decide what to do with it. Good luck!

Street Talk

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