If you drive around in the suburban areas of the country, there are many things you will see. All of these little clues will tell you about the people who live in these houses, including how they feel about their pugs (they love them), how their children or grandchildren are doing in school (honor rolls) and what sports or other activities that their children are taking part in. you might also see big collections of large helium balloons that announce that it’s a boy or a girl, that there is a house for sale, a car for sale or a yard sale (yard not included). For a simple bit of latex and some very buoyant gas, these large helium balloons are very chatty.

People have been using large helium balloons for a very long time- they are cheaper than having a dozens of cards printed up, brighter and more attractive than those little yard sale signs and do not require knowing the personal email information of dozens of strangers. They keep you from having to answer a deluge of stupid questions from a virtual parade of stupid people. Thanks to a certain wildly popular comedian, people are no longer so sure if you are having a yard sale or expressing your cultural tendencies without some kind of sign or announcement. Large helium balloons do that so much nicer than having your kids shout the words “yard sale” at every passing car they see.

Of course, there are certain announcements that you probably won’t see emblazoned on the side of large helium balloons, nor would you ever want to. It would take only a very low and very morbid type of person to announce that a loved one has finally moved on in the most permanent of ways or that so and so was back on the dating market because the marriage is no officially over. It would not be a great way to break up with someone and you would never announce that you are angry with a neighbor over their barking dog with a cheery bunch of large helium balloons. In the old days, neighbors would declare real wars on one another, sometimes sending each other small “gifts” like dead birds or even the severed fingers of their own soldiers. None of them ever handed the other a big red balloon that said “ Geez, I hate you and that barking dog. Let’s have a war.”

But, on that same note, the large helium balloons could be a great way to send a more private, upbeat message to someone. It could even be a great way to break the ice for someone who is painfully shy. How clever would it be to have a message on large helium balloons that finally ask that pretty girl out for a date or to break the news that the stork will be showing up at the house sooner or later? Pretty clever, indeed.