Almost Typical
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Almost Typical

8:05 AM -

"Daddy, can I have $80.00?" Amy said in a timid, childish voice. "What?" Marvin said groggily while rubbing his eyes. "Can I please have $80.00?" this time spoken with a little more confidence. "Why do you need $80.00?" said Marvin, as his vision cleared just enough to see Amy standing at the foot of his bed. "I found the most amazing suede jacket at the mall yesterday! Please Daddy, can I have it, Please!" Marvin, not surprised by the audacity of this request, said "We just spent $200.00 on your high school letter jacket last week. You don't need another jacket." Amy, working up a set of tears to match the ultra sad face she is now wearing, stated " But all the girls on my drill team have one! I will be the only member who doesn't have one. They will laugh at me! Please Daddy, Please!" Marvin, completely annoyed by the dramatic display. "Are you kidding me, after the stunt you pulled last weekend? You are lucky we are still paying for your driver's education classes!" Amy, undaunted by this last little road block "I already said I was sorry and Amber's mom agreed she would pay for the damages. I will do extra housework, Please, I love you daddy, Please?" Completely fed up with the conversation at this point and with finality in his voice, Marvin calmly says "The answer is no, end of conversation." "UUUGH! You are SO MEAN!" Screamed Amy, as she stormed out of her parents bedroom. "Greatest day ever" Mutters Marvin, under his breath as he looks over at the clock on the nightstand. With curiosity, he notices the clock flashing 12:00, "What time is it?" he asks himself, as he fumbles on the floor to find his cell phone. "8:09! Damn...I'm going to be late!"

8:17 AM -

"Honey, have you seen the pants for my wind-suit and how did the alarm clock get unplugged?" Marvin shouted from the closet, Still wet from the abbreviated shower. He could faintly hear his wife Rhonda talking in the other room. "What?... I couldn't hear you." Marvin said walking down the hall toward the kitchen. "Not even! He came home at 11:30 last night, stinking of beer and I am telling you girl, I think he had stripper glitter on his cheek. He will be on the couch if I find out it's true..." "Rhonda!? Did you hear what I said?" Marvin watched as his wife, with cell phone in hand, acknowledge him with a raised hand waving him away. "Your husband ever do that?" she said to the person on the other end of the phone call as she left the room. "Best day ever." Marvin whispers to himself with a scowl.

8:31 AM -

"Rhonda!" shouted Marvin from the bedroom. "Where are the keys to the Navigator? I am running late and don't have time to put gas in the Camry." "Why don't you ask your son, he drove it last night." Rhonda said from the other room. "You gave him the the gator last night?" Marvin asked with a surprised tone. "Nope, and I didn't give permission to stay out til 4 AM either." She replied. "I don't have time to deal with that right now, Eric and Evan are meeting me at the course at 9:20 this morning. I will talk to him when I get home." Marvin said as he walked into Robbie's room. Stumbling though dirty clothes and over a broken skateboard. He finds the keys he was looking for in the pants hanging on the foot board of his son's bed. "Yes, this will be addressed when I get home." He whispered angrily under his breath.

8:42 AM -

"See you later Honey." Marvin said loudly as he walked out the front door. "Have fun with your stripper friends from last night!" Rhonda retorted in a sarcastic tone. "What are you talking about? What strippers?" Marvin asked, already upset by all of this mornings delays. "You know what I am talking about, you didn't come home til late last night and when finally get home, you smell like beer and your covered in stripper glitter. Did you get her number?" "You are crazy, I was out with Chuck and Blaine at the game last night. Not a stripper in sight!" "Tammy, was right, she said you would deny it." Rhonda replied. "I don't have time for your delusions, we will talk about it later." Marvin closes the front door nearly tripping over the Saturday newspaper.

After a quick check in the cargo area of the Lincoln, satisfied that he has everything. He jumps in the driver seat, starts the engine and notices the Low fuel light is on. "Great! Is anything going to go right this morning?!" Shouted Marvin in frustration.

8:56 AM -

"Rhonda!" Barked Marvin into his cell phone as he was putting gas in at the corner convenience store on the way to the course. "You know what I just found in the passenger side floorboard?" Rhonda, completely uninterested, exclaims "Oh, NOW you want to talk?" "I found 2 empty beer cans!" Marvin said, completely avoiding his wife's attempt to start the argument back up again. "Like father, like son, you should be proud." Rhonda stated cheerfully. Marvin hung up the phone. "It must be that time of the month." He thought. "Best day ever." He whispered with a sigh as he shook his head.

9:18 AM -

"Hey Eric, I am in the parking lot, Where are you?" Marvin said on the phone as he was pulling his clubs out of the back of his SUV. "Sorry I didn't call you earlier, I am not going to make it this morning, I am still in bed. Way too hung over from the game last night." Eric said. "Your kidding right!? This was your idea. I went through hell getting here on time and your cancelling on me?" Marvin asked. "Sorry dude, maybe next time." Eric replied. "Have you heard from Evan this morning? He hasn't replied to any of my texts." said Marvin. "I don't think he will make it either, He was really trashed when we left the bar last night. I barely got him into the Cab. He is probably sleeping it off." Eric said as he yawned. "Damn, Well take it easy, see you in the office on Monday then." Marvin said disappointingly. "Later Dude, Have a good weekend." Marvin hung up the phone. "Yeah right, like that will happen." Marvin thought to himself. "Best day ever."

9:29 AM -

"Good morning, Welcome to Glen Elms Golf Course. How can I help you?" Connie said, trying to be especially cute and perky this morning. "I am checking in for my 9:30 tee time. It should be under the last name Brown." Marvin said trying to slow his breathing after the mad sprint he made across the parking lot. "Will it be just you?" Connie asked. "Yes, Just me this morning." Marvin said with a hint of sadness. "Alright...Will you be walking or riding today?" "Riding." Marvin replied. "Alright, your total comes to $96.81." Connie said, handing him a new score card and the key to the golf cart. "Umm... that can't be right, did you apply my discount? I am a member of the woods gold plan." Interjected Marvin. "I am sorry Mr. Brown but your membership expired 4 days ago, I can process your membership dues for the coming year." after adding calculating the dues in the register, Connie said. "With the discount on today's round, your total will come to $344.13." In a panic Marvin looked at his membership card to confirm if what Connie was saying was true. He sighed as he found that she was correct. Reluctantly he replied "Fine.." as he handed her his credit card. "Best day ever!" He said to himself angrily.

10:11 AM -

"Does he think he is on the pro tour?" Marvin exclaimed in frustration loud enough for Mark and Geno to hear as they waited on the 3rd tee box for the group in front of them to finish putting. Geno replied disarmingly, sensing Marvin's frustration. "You in a hurry to get back to your wife?" he said with a chuckle. "I just want something to go right, just once today. This morning has been a disaster since I got up. If its not my 14 year old daughter wanting money, its my wife nagging, or my 17 year old son becoming a criminal. Running my vehicle out of gas, my golf buddies cancelling on me last minute. Then to top it all off, This round cost me $350.00." Marvin said frantically. "$350.00, HOW!?" Geno asked in disbelief. "My discount membership expired and I had to renew it today." "Oh, that sucks. Well, at least your playing golf! Better than listening to the wife nag right?" Geno said attempting to change the subject. "Yeah, I guess your right." Marvin said unconvinced. "Look, the green is clear. Make a good shot here and you will be fine." Geno said with a smile while glancing over at Mark and shrugging. "What do you think, 167?" Marvin asked as he was reaching for a 7 iron out of his bag. Geno replied "152 to carry the front bunker and the pin looks tight behind it. I would say 160 with about 5' feet of back spin will put you in the hole." "I am not Anthony Kim, I would be lucky to shoot for the center of the green. Hitting at the pin isn't part of my game." Marvin replied with a chuckle.

"Here goes nothing." Marvin stated as he set up to hit the ball. "It's looking good." Geno said as he watched the ball sailing towards the green. "Nah, I caught it fat, its going to be short in the bunker." Marvin replied. "I don't know, It's looking pretty good." Mark blurted out. "I didn't see it bounce, It's gotta be in that front bunker." Marvin replied. "Well, maybe you can get up and down from the bunker." said Mark. Marvin just nodded and thought to himself, "Not with my luck today."

"How's your lie?" Geno asked as he was studying his 8 footer for birdie. "Not sure, my ball isn't in the bunker. Mark, do you see a ball over there?" Mark looking around the back of the green replied. "No, what are you playing?" "Pro V1 red #2." Marvin exclaimed. "It couldn't have gone far, It is here somewhere." Mark replied. "You guys go ahead and putt in, I am going to hit another." Geno, calling out to Marvin as he is walking back up to the tee box. "Pro V1 you said?" "Yeah." Marvin replied. "I think I found it." Geno said trying to disguise the excitement in his voice. "Where?" Marvin asked. "In the cup." Geno said calmly, barely able to keep the smile off his face. "NO WAY!" Marvin replied in disbelief. Geno, while holding Marvin's ball in the air, yells "Yep, red # 2, You just hit a HOLE IN ONE MY FRIEND!" Marvin with a huge smile on his face, said softly "Best Day Ever!"


Street Talk

Vernon L  

Wow! A "hole in one" make everything better! Well I need to take up golfing. I love the story Jeff, good job!

Reply
  about 3 years ago
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