Dear Four Eyes
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Dear Four Eyes

Monday . The day of the week that everyone dreads because it's the start of a new week of school . I lay in bed , thinking scrambled thoughts . What shall I face today ? Another day of school another day of torture . I untangle my tight curly hair . I glance at my old broken down clock and begin to dress . I slip into my hand me down jeans , and pulled over my gray plaided hoodie . I starred at my reflection in the mirror , stroked back my loose hair and wiped away the few tear drops that had escaped from my eyes .

"Don't let them get to you , you are stronger then them ...You can do this ."

I swung my backpack onto my thin arm and made my way to the bus stop.

"Ignore them , everything will get better ",

my conscious struggles to tell me. I wait for the bus doors to swing open and I make my way up the stairs and onto the first row where I sit alone . "Hey Rhonda , your looking ugly as usual , stop wearing your grandmas clothes ." And I think to my self , My day has begun.

I make it to school , now drenched in water from being shoved into a puddle after getting off the bus. I walk into the school with my hood over my head , shadowing my face hoping no one notices me . I quickly walk along the edges of the school walls closest to the teacher's classroom for protection . I have arrived at my first period class . I take one step into the room . Then another . I sit in the desk in the back corner of the room . It's the same desk I have sat at for the past two years of high school. It's the antique desk; the unimportant desk; the desk no one bothers to acknowledge even exists.

As I walk to my desk, everyone focuses there eyes on me. People pay attention to me more than I would like them to. " Ouch " I jolt out of my seat and find myself on the icy cold wooded floors . I glance up to notice my classmate Roger towering over me . He had kicked my chair over while I sat there silently minding my own business .

" I'm surprised you haven't left this school . I guess my threat to kill you hasn't effected you very much ."

But it did . Only I would know that I go home every night and only dream of ways that his threats could come . I don't dare to tell a soul because if Roger found out , who knows if he would actually make good on those threats even though the reality of his threats were sounding better and better by the day . I dust myself off and return to my seat and prepared my self for the rest of the day .

Second period, third period, and fourth period came and gone. I had classes with my crush as well as Roger . I peeked at my crush from the corners of my eye; frightened that someone would catch me . "Psst" Roger called me over . I didn't dare to get up . Causing attention to myself would create more opportunities for someone to laugh at me, curse at me, or even knock me on to the floor . He walked over towards me and my heart froze . I swiped the big droplets of sweat from my wet forehead and reached out my shaking hand to grab a half torn note from him . I waited for him to return back to his seat before I took a look at the note .

What could It have said? I opened it and tightly gripped the crisp paper trying to read past all of the wrinkles .

"Dear four eyes..."My heart dropped .

" I just wanted to let you know my girlfriend doesn't like when you keep looking at me . But I told her not to worry because I would never want someone as ugly as you . I mean who would ? She said if you don't stop she will come to your house and make sure that you will regret it" ... from Anthony.

I crippled up the note and shoved it into my jacket pocket . I looked up to the ceiling light and blinked vigorously hoping the tears wouldn't over flow above my eyelids and run down my face . I was tired of crying .

By fifth period , I left . Walked out of the school . No one even noticed anyway . No one ever did , not even the teachers . I walked 4 miles home in the pouring rain. I didn't care if I was soaked , because now I could cry without anyone noticing . I hated to cry infront of people . I wouldn't allow myself to .

I made it home into my empty silent house. I twisted the door unlocked and turned on my computer and logged onto my Facebook . The Facebook that I only had about 30 friends . Sixty percent of them were people that didn't even know me, which explains why they haven't unfriend me yet . I opened my messages and come across 17 friend request . One from the girl who poured her steaming hot coco on me because she said I needed color . One from the boy who makes fun of me everyday from being so ugly compared to my sister . and 5 from the girls that jumped me in the woods and left me laying there lifeless on the ground as they watched hysterically as the bitter blood from my mouth mixed with the salty tears from my swollen eyes .

I anxiously clicked on my newsfeed and saw all the feeds were about me. From Roger . "four eyes , useless ,ugly girl , skipped last 3 classes . Where were you ? Having fun with your friends that don't exist ?" My stomach knotted . I then read the comments " Does she still go to our school ? Stupid girl . " and another . " You still alive ?! Who would've known !" And another . " I feel bad for your parents , having to live with someone as ugly as you ! .

I thought to myself ." Why am I alive ? " what have I done wro - I stopped myself . I had asked myself this too many times . Yet still haven't found the answer . I had no more tears left . My pillow had absorbed them all . I turned on the faucet in my bath tub and then went slugged into my room . I grabbed a red pen and a sheet of lined blank paper. And began to write ..

"dear world ... Why must everyone hate me? I don't know what I have done wrong . Someone please give me an answer . Is it because I'm not pretty ? Because I don't have money too wear beautiful clothing like everyone else does or because I can't afford braces to fix my over bite? Is it because I choose not to spend my weekends as a 16 year old teenager who likes to kill my lungs from smoking or act reckless because I'm drunk? I have done nothing wrong . I hope my disappearance pleases everyone. "

P.s sorry mom and dad I love you guys . "

I placed the note onto the refrigerator using the magnet that my sister and I hand made when I was only 4 years old ; memories . I walked into the bathroom , slowly pressed the door close and locked the golden chipped doorknob to the bathroom . I turned off the bathtub faucet and counted as the last few drops dripped from the glossed fountain . 1..2...3...4..5..6..7.. I undressed myself and wiped my tears with my clothing . I climbed into the overflowing tub one foot after the other . And then , I felt as if my 96 pounded pale skinned self , weighed 500 pounds . I laid into the tub , lengthening out my body . My face last to meet the water . The cold evil water that now has surrounded and taken over my face. And I slowly count my last seconds on this earth. One ...two ... Three ... Four ... Five ... Six ... Sev.. . And my pain is gone .


Street Talk

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