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Do You Just Want Him So You Can Have A Baby?
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Do You Just Want Him So You Can Have A Baby?

I had never thought about how desperate women can want kids when they reach their thirties or forties and they are still single, until recently. As I have no interest in having kids, I didn’t even think about this much until my partner explained what he felt like with other women he would meet, before he had met me.

Because I was so strongly against wanting children, that I told him on our first date that I didn’t want kids and have no interest in having any. So if he wanted a family with children, then I suggested that he find another woman. I also told him that I didn’t want him to even try and change my mind as this was my decision for my own reasons.

This turned out to be a great relief for him as he didn’t really want children either and then he went on to tell me the story why. Being a Christian and attending church regularly, he had met and even become friends with a lot of single women looking for a partner. During many different conversations, he got the feeling that they wanted children more than they wanted a partner and that they felt time was running out for them. He wanted to feel that a woman would want him for being himself, not because she wanted to have kids.

He started to look at those women differently and started to think that they would only be interested in him for a relationship if he could give them children. That made him think of himself as just a sperm donor and that was the most important things they wanted from him. He then noticed that the women weren’t seeing him for him, they were seeing him as a potential father of their children.

Then when he met me and I had no interest in having children, he felt relieved and able to be himself, knowing that I wanted him for him. I noticed this with other marriages that were ending in divorce due to irreconcilable differences. I also noticed relationships splitting up after the children had grown up a little and the couple realizing they had nothing in common. It could also be clearly seen that the children were the most important thing.

Putting children above your partner doesn’t help the children at all. When the child gets more love and attention than the partner, then the partner will find that love and attention elsewhere. This is when cheating can occur because the partner gets love and attention from another.

The best thing a mother can do for their children is to love their father, and that’s the same for men. Being a great partner to your spouse will also show children how to have successful relationships with their family, friends and with their partners when they grow up.

Women shouldn’t be rushing into a relationship because she wants to find someone to have a baby with before she’s unable to. Women who do this generally settle for the wrong guy. Then they realize the only thing in common with their partner is the children. For partners to stay together long term or for their whole lives, they need to make sure they are compatible with each other before children are thought of.

So if you are single and feel like time is running out to have a baby, then first find out what’s most important to you at this point in time: A life partner, or a child?

If it’s a life partner, then focus on that and start by writing down what you want in a partner. If it’s a child, then there are many ways you can have a child without needing a partner including adoption, or artificial insemination (using a sperm donor).

If you want to get married and have a baby, then I suggest you focus on the most important one first which is a the marriage (life partner) and make sure they want children too. But in order to do this, you need to make sure that the man is compatible to you and that you are compatible to him. You will both need to know that you have found that one special person you want to spend the rest of your life with. You will both need to be open to working on the relationship for long term success and be able to completely love each other for who you are.

Never start a relationship wanting to change the other person. We each need to be constantly changing ourselves towards better people, but without someone telling you that. You must be willing to learn and grow by your own decision to do so. So if you are both learning and growing together sharing similar passions, values and outlooks on life, then it makes it so much easier to stay together and you enjoy each other’s company more than anyone else.


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