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Most of us are raised by our mothers and although you would think it would breed a generation of “mamma’s boys”, I believe there is an irony to be recognized.
My mother was fantastic, always taking care of me when I needed her and aside from a few choice holiday’s, never really asked for recognition. I had a strong bond with her, she was always eager to be involved but was never needy. The only time my mother became proactive in my life was to try and interfere with my sex life. Talk about embarrassing! Although I went from Zero to Sexty (puns!) in a short period of time, by the time my mom was recognizing this she just had to intrude…and so she did.
FYI…I will be using some candid language I think we can all appreciate throughout my posts. Not because I am lewd, but if I am telling a story I will be using it as a sign of the times.
That being said, my first girlfriend was a slut by high school standards. When she took my virginity she had slept with 13 boys! I was 16 and she was 17! Whoa! Although that never bothered me. What did, is she started getting clingy. Not uncommon in HS, but I couldn’t deal, so what is a young adolescent to do…”treat her badly, she’ll get the point” was my buddies advice! Makes sense to me. But what many of us have known, observed and possibly experienced is that once a physical connection has been established with a girl, treating her badly will rarely send her packing.
Of course my mom witnesses this and feels it’s time for her to participate. When my girl was over and my mom witnessed our behavior she would intervene with adult conversation and sit with my GF and chat about girl stuff. I would leave the room and do homework or whatever was drawing my focus and they would sit there and talk. Mostly my mom would be actively trying to console her and give her words of wisdom about growing up. Was she doing the right thing, absolutely, but it was apples to oranges. Her adult perspective was just silly. All she did was reinforce my behavior…in case you’re a little confused let’s reassess the situation;
1. I’ve still got the girl (and she’s crazy about me)
2. She was always after me (calling so late my mom almost started siding with me)
3. Interestingly, the empathy she got from my mother was like a drug to her (she didn’t care that I treated her bad, just that someone would listen to her when I did)
So everyone was feeling good, except for my mom. She just didn’t get it! The irony now is hilarious!
Our moms just want us to be gentleman because they don’t remember when they were difficult and desirable. ”Just be yourself and be a gentleman.” Thanks for the worst advice ever mom.
I’m sure she doesn’t remember making my dad chase after her for a year while she was dating other dudes and snubbing him at parties. My dad does! Her POV of their courting was like one day my dad just walked up to her and asked her out, but my dad remembers all the rejection. But you have to hand it to the guy, he was persistent.
“Just be a gentleman and be yourself.” Just to clear the air…if there is anyone out there who believes this is a sound principle then you should stop reading this article and my site may not be what you are looking for but hear me out...being a gentleman or being yourself will ultimately bring you frustration. The focus of this site is about being your best self and carrying confidence and knowledge through all your interactions with women.
So my mom had it all figured out but she forgot the #1 principle of being a kid. When your parents offer you advice, especially about dating, chances are we are going to do the exact opposite, which is what I did at the time and have always had a descent track record with women. Although I have quite a ways to go.
Cheers to our moms that didn't turn us into momma's boys. While they were making an effort to mold us into better men they also sent us in the right direction to have success with women.
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