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relationship
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Know What You Want In A Relationship?
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Know What You Want In A Relationship?

If you are currently single and looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, then it's very important to know what you want in a relationship. Having been through this process myself, I know how important is was to write down what I wanted. Having it written down meant that you are not blindly selecting whoever is available at the time. If you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, wouldn't it be better knowing that they are the right match for you. Being the right match means easy to communicate with, live with and share who you are as a person.

The first step to this process is to think back to your ex partners and write down all the things that you didn't like about them:

What did they do or say that you didn't agree with?

Did they behave in a certain way that you didn't approve of?

Did you wish that they did certain things or said certain things?

After you have this list of things you didn't like or agree with, you now need to change it so that you state it in the positive. So this is where you know what you want in a relationship by writing this list of what you do want in a life partner. Think of happy, already successful couples.

How do they act and communicate together?

What would feel good and right with you and your partner being happy together?

How do you deal with the difficult times?

What do you do together in the fun times?

It is also best to state it in the present tense as if that partner is already here and you are thankful for all the attributes they portray. For example if you wrote that you didn't like that your ex partner wouldn't hold your hand or touch you often. Then you would change it to: My partner enjoys being affectionate with me. If they didn't talk much about their feelings, you would change it to: My partner communicates well about their feelings towards me.

You can make that list as long as you like. Mine was about 2 pages, but try to only focus on what is really important to you. Close you eyes and think of the end result of being in a happy and successful relationship. Where are you living together?

What would you be doing together?

Is it important that they travel?

Is it important that they are adventurous and like trying new things?

Or do you prefer a quiet partner who you can read and stay indoors with you?

Is it important that they are romantic?

When you finally have your list together and know what you want in a relationship, then you will know whether you are settling or not. I thought I was too fussy until the right person came along. So don't forget it could also be a matter of timing and patience. Maybe the ideal person for you is not quite ready and still have a few things to learn before they meet you. But as long as you have this list and you can envision the right relationship, whilst moving along in your life following the things you enjoy to do, that right person will just turn up.


Street Talk

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