Chef's Arse - When Your Job Really Is A Pain In The Arse.
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Chef\'s arse   -   When your job really is a pain in the arse.

What the hell is Chef's Arse when it's not just a pain in the ass!

Working in the kitchen as a chef is hard work. But when the occupational hazard as chef's arse sets in to your underpant area things get a lot worse.

A total pain in the ass!

I really understand, I've worked in the catering trade for nigh on 20 years and my coleaugues including I have suffered this common ailment.

Yes the unmistakable 'Chef's Arse'

There's nothing worse than having to cook in hot temperatures and feeling the terrible itch, along with dry burning sensation festering in your undercarriage. Sometimes our kecks are just loaded with so much sweat it's a burden to deal with.

I know you will understand my point of view.

Because the one thing we've all got in common is that we have to wear safety standard garments which protect us from the fiery heat in which we work in.

But there's a problem.

Unlike some other professions, those that might simply undress and allow themselves to cool off, sadly we chef's have to keep our garments on. That's really unpleasant in a cooped up environment when only extractor fans and fly screens are in the only form of relief, which by the way, actually let the summer heat in.

Total double edged sword.

Yep, a serious double whammy, it's hot on the inside & it's hot on the outside. And to get your steak 'well done' we really soar in temperatures you wouldn't believe.

That's when severe skin chafing occurs on our butt cheeks and scrotum.

Ooooaaaw!

That's happening when the salty sweat works it's way down our backs and runs over our Buttocks and Scrotum. There it collects between those dark unventilated areas and bacteria breads.

Result?

We get what's known as Chef's Arse. Thumbs up....

Nice!

It's not that we're unhygienic or anything, it's just the job and just about everyone who picks up a egg whisk is sure as hell gonna get it.

So lets me put this into perspective and offer some clarity to those who don't work in the catering industry.

We wear:

    • Hats or Bandanas
    • A Chef's Jacket.
    • Safety Boots.

Sometimes we are nowhere near an open window and the extractor fans only removes rising heat.

On top of that we've got socks and underwear on.

Sure, I hear you say: COMPLAINER OF THE CENTURY!

But..

It's what we gotta do, 'cause it's part of health and safety standards we need to comply to.

But then we all need to take some preventative measures right? Yeah too right!

THE ONE THING that I can advice is to take the following appropriate measures:

    • Do not wear briefs. They cling to your skin and don't absorb any moisture your bodies getting rid of. Get some cotton boxers, Ok?
    • Wash your balls and arse crack in the shower regular to prevent chefs arse or even worse, crotch rot!
    • Look after your tackle with a regular application of tea tree oil. This stuff really works.

And lastly...

Apply some decent cream if your arse crack feels like a bareback horse rider from hell.

Like the one I found this on this site and it's hilarious, after all you gotta have a laugh at the expense of someone who gets an itchy ass or balls. Haven't you?

Well maybe, I'll leave it with ya....

SO GO GET SOME WHERE IT HURTS!


Street Talk

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