Have you spent the day at work, then rush to get your kids from school, come home to a messy house, with dinner still to make? Do you feel stressed out and want to hide under your bed? You decide to save that for later and start making dinner. The whole time you have thoughts running through mind.

Most of these thoughts are in the back of mind. These thoughts seem to be your constant soundtrack of negativity. They start with: “I don’t know what to make for dinner. I forgot to get milk at the store. One more thing I didn’t do today. I never finish my to-do list. I never put time for myself on that list. There is never enough time in the day. My kids don’t appreciate all I do.” Immediately you feel even more stressed than when you got home.

So how do you reduce your stress? Let me tell you two little secrets. First secret: we cause our own stress. How? Secret number two is: we are the thinkers of our own thoughts. I know that sounds simple. You might be saying: Duh? Yet, often we don’t realize that we are always thinking. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We also have thought static. I learned these great secrets from an awesome book, You Can Be Happy No Matter What: Five Principles to Keep Life in Perspective by Richard Carlson.

Remember earlier when you were making dinner and all the thoughts in the back of your mind? That was thought static. This kind of situation happens all the time. Often we stress ourselves out without even knowing that that we are doing it. The thought static in the back of our minds is constant. What causes stress is when we give that static weight. When we take our negative thoughts seriously, let them influence our mood, and actions.

What if you remembered that you were the thinker of your own thoughts? You still had the same thoughts or thought static at the back of your mind, but instead paying attention to the thoughts, you dismiss them. You think, “Oh, I am just feeling stressed. Once I finish dinner, I am going to sit down and eat with my kids. I will relax then.”

Your thoughts do not stop (they never do), but you did not let them stress you out. You begin thinking about how nice it will be to relax with your kids. You think about how good dinner is going to taste and even start thinking of something fun the whole family can do after dinner.

When we reduce stress during the day, we relax earlier. We fall asleep faster because we are able to dismiss thought static. We don’t have to worry about work because we realize that right now we are in a comfortable bed, with warm sheets, and we have no problems. We can bring peace to our mind. We can stop our own stress by controlling our thoughts. Wishing you all happy peaceful thoughts and sweet dreams!