Other people's behaviors can have an effect on us and lure us away from our spiritual being. With our dysfunctional beliefs it's easy for us to point out the faults in others, but unaware of those same defects in ourselves.

Spiritually, this can work to our advantage if we learn to look for those same flaws in ourselves but that don't typically happen. I will discuss five of my character flaws that kept me focused on other people and kept me in bondage and frustration for years. Only until I became aware of my flaws and have the courage and willingness to face them then I discovered a new life full of growth and freedom.

Since I was a little boy, I was motivated by fear. Fear of not being accepted and fear of failure. It was those fears that drove me to put unrealistic expectations on myself striving for perfection. I measured my self-worth by my accomplishments and acceptance of others. I was never spiritually satisfied and material things only temporarily filled my needs. I'll need something else to fill that void.

Pride have all the qualifications to do just that. It encouraged me to become self-sufficient and overly confident. It convince me to never ask anyone for help. The type of pride born out of hurt. I'll try my best to get people to accept me by cracking jokes and buying everyone's beer but that made me angry. Pride comes before every fall and the fall is painful.

The answer to my anger was simple: I was angry because I was hurt. The reality was my life have become unbearable because I couldn't live up to the expectations I've place on myself. With all this internal turmoil that I created and wasn't spiritually ready to face, I blamed my mother. The only person who I have ever had by my side, have now become my resentment.

Whether justified or not my resentment was dangerous to my spirit. I stayed in isolation away from family and friends falling deep into depression. For the first time I've seen how much my actions was hurting my mother, and that forced me take a closer look at my behaviors. I felt it was time for me to stop blaming others for how I felt about myself so I turned to the only way I know to find serenity; I prayed to God for forgiveness.

It was my unforgiving heart at the core of my spiritual sickness. If I wanted a health relationship with myself and my mother I'll need to forgive myself. With God's help I addressed my flaws and forgave myself and He started me on my spiritual journey to freedom.

Over and over I tried to live up to the expectations of those around me. I was afraid of not becoming what they expected of me so I dedicated my time in getting their approval. Today, I'm at peace with myself because I no longer need their approval. It's not always easy to accept my defects, but now I understand they're there to help me grow spiritually.