Why do we sometimes lose all confidence in ourselves and our heart becomes too weak to fight? We all go through times in our lives when we get downhearted and feel we cannot change what is happening to us. Let’s examine some of the reasons we get ourselves into these situations and then how we can begin to apply Gods instructions. It will not be long until we can get back on our feet and move on to enjoy each day as God intended for us.

We all desperately want to be loved and have approval from others. We will go to great lengths to do what others want and act like others want us to act, in order to receive the love and approval we feel we need. For many of us, this love and acceptance continues to the point that our own personal boundaries are violated. Somehow we feel it is justified as long as we feel loved and accepted. I am using the word (feel) lightly because we all know about feelings.

For most of us, if we look deep inside we find that we are overly dependent on others to meet our personal needs. If only they or if I knew they are just a couple of the recordings that we allow inside our heads. We need others to make us feel worthy. As we all know, people will at some point let us down, for we ourselves on occasion have let other people down too. Perfection is not found in any of us. Only in Jesus Christ!

Some of us want to be the problem solvers of the world, answering all the problems and having all the solutions which can bring us to another setup for failure. We tend to do for others what others should be doing for themselves. Then when we are taken advantage of we feel mistreated, abused and therefore again blaming ourselves.

If we are truthful with ourselves we will realize and admit that our true motivation is really selfishness. Although it may not be our intentions, when we are trying to cope with our own weaknesses and inadequacy by being good, pleasing and enabling others, we are really only thinking of ourselves.

Well, I may have opened some doors and ideas that none of us want to hear, but acknowledgement is the beginning of healing. God has the ideal plan and he is here to listen and help us, if we are willing to go to Him.

We have missed the mark when we do not place our priority totally on having a close personal relationship with God. We need to repent for our selfish efforts of trying to meet our needs through others, when God should be our only focus. We must establish personal boundaries with others, if we are to develop a healthy balance and interdependent relationships.

Overcoming our low self-image and feelings of not measuring up may seem hard, but when we evaluate our position in Christ and God there is no comparison. We are His children and He sees no fault in us. He wants a relationship with us. With Him being our core and rock, the confidence will come.

We must understand that being overly dependent on others is a sin called idolatry. We have one true God and if we are to become people with confidence, we must understand His place in our lives. His place is first! We must turn to Him for the love and approval that we so desperately desire. He is the solver to every problem, not us. The world can never give us what we need to be confident and complete. We do not have to be weak in heart, if we will only place our confidence in Jesus Christ.