When it is time to step back and let them go? I thank God, for making me a mother. The love and enjoyment my son has brought into my life, by far surpasses any pain I may have felt. I cannot imagine my life without him and refuse to ponder that thought. Beyond my salvation he is my greatest accomplishment of my life. With a love and protection so deep letting him go is has been very difficult for me.

I have never regretted for one minute, my son, my gift given to me from God, but rather found myself very humbled that God trusted me with such a treasure. All I have done has come naturally, out of my deep unconditional love and affection for him. There is no doubt in my mind that I would give up everything and would lay down my life for him.

With the help of God, I have learned to accept my son and whatever issues he may have, just as he is, for I am his mother and my love is unconditional. I am in no way forgetting, I too have my own issues in which my son has graciously endured on my behalf. I am absolutely positive that my son loves me. I have no doubt that he sees all that I've done to help him, and I know he is grateful.

But in my mind, he is still that 6 pound, 15 ounce boy who came into the world so many years ago. I have longed for the son I used to know, but I now realize the fact, that what I am longing for is only my interpretation of who I wanted him to be. I was not allowing him to be who he wants to be.

He might disappoint me from time to time as I do him, but he also brings me so much happiness. He will always be MY son. Although I do not agree with all of his choices, I am very proud of my son. He is a great person with a loving heart searching for his place in this world. He is my ray of light and my hope when all seems gloomy. He brings a smile to my face like no other on this earth can. My hopes and dreams are for him!

Letting him go is so hard when he has been my whole life, but there comes a time when we have no choice. The journey he is on now, is his own. I have to step back and allow him the space and freedom to make his own choices. In doing this, I also have to allow him to live with his own mistakes. That in itself is hard because I do not like to see him hurt.

I continue to pray for the patience to endure whatever pain or disappointment I may have on this journey, but I also pray that I will be able to see and totally enjoy the delights he continues to bring into my life every day.

With God's grace and mercy my son will find the peace and happiness he is longing for. I know God has him in the palm of His hands and he is making him into the man He intends for him to be. In the meantime, I must step back, let God do His job, remain in faith. I know that God is on the throne and He is faithful to answer our prayers. My son is now a man; I must step back and allow him to be just that.