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Asking God to help me was the spiritual principle that saved my life. I was caught up in catering to myself and it was hard for me to recognize my foolishness. Not liking what I had become, I tried gaining freedom from self and reality by using more drugs more often. I dug myself into a spiritual black hole. I have never been in this place before and I was way out of my comfort zone.
It was during this time in my life I began to question the reality of God and His love.
In the pass, when I asked Him to help me, I asked with the wrong motive. I unknowingly wanted Him to bless me by easing my pain and stopping my suffering for a little while, so I could continue my self-destructive relationship with my addiction. He knew this. It was all part of His plan.
Surrendering my life to God wasn't easy. I had a better chance in hitting the lottery. That's what I was doing with my life, taking a chance, gambling my life away, and always losing. But I kept going back slowly killing myself.
I didn't realize my suffering would worsen unless I turned from serving self and give my life to Him. God wanted all of me, my heart, my mind and my soul. It wasn't my addiction God was concern about, it was my sinning. Using drugs was just a small symptom of my bigger problem: worldly wisdom.
God allowed me to continue on my destructive downhill path while all along keeping me out of harms way with His loving grace, bring me closer to Him. He allowed Satan to do what he want with me, he just couldn't kill me. I lost my home, my career, my marriage and my self-respect. I was spiritually bankrupt. He had given me a mission to fulfill but first I had to spent time in the wilderness.
When God have a calling on your life, there's nothing you or no one else can do that can stop God for doing what He want to do in your life.
He knew me better than I knew myself, He read my stubborn heart. But God knew I would become wise and learn from this suffering rather than being destroyed my it. It was here in my wilderness, I called for His help. It was here I heard His voice.
Many times we have defining moments in our lives that change us forever. Mine was when I hit bottom and lost hope. But through all that, I gained Godly wisdom when I come to understand my experience wasn't for me. It was so I could share it with others and help save them because people relate to personal experiences of a living God better than options and theories. Copyright number 8ATW-6W4R-CY37-938B
Thank you for your article Vernon. Blessings to you. Always remember, God is for you and not against you. His desire is to heal you not hurt you... He's a good God that is madly in love with you... so much so he sent His ONLY Son for you. You have infinite value to God. Blessings! James 1:17 "17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." (God = good, Devil = bad)
Vernon, Thank you for sharing how you grew from this suffering. You are right, when we do surrender to God, we can grow through and from anything and everything. Reading your story helps me understand my experience, as well - for I am growing and did grow from physically painful experiences. blessings, Cynthia Ann Leighton
Hey Vernon you are deeply blessed my friend; you have the opportunity to tell the story that some have not been able to, obviously you are thankful. Godspeed moving forward.
Vernon God Allows and God Arranges! Blessings on you!
Very moving article Vernon. Thanks for sharing such an intimate experience...you are allowing us to know the real you, and you are a great guy!
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