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Three Factors To Consider Before Becoming A Stepparent
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Are you dating someone with children and are thinking of marrying that person or even living together with that person? Then there are few things to consider before taking that huge step. Becoming a stepparent is not as easy as it may seem when you are dating and it’s important that you prepare yourself for the transition. Let’s take a look at several factors that you and your partner should take into consideration and agree on before the wedding.

1. Understanding the role of a stepparent

Understanding your role as a stepparent is the foundation for a successful relationship, not only with the your stepchild, but also with your spouse and the other biological parent of the child. Your role may vary depending on the circumstances.

If the child or children lives with you and your spouse, you would have a more integral role in the child’s life as you will be with the child every day. Although you will not be replacing the other biological parent, you will be responsible, along with your spouse, for raising that children. If the child does not live with you, then you will have a more supporting role, both to the child and to your spouse.

2. What does your partner expect of you?

This is often overlooked but it’s critical that you and partner discuss this while you are dating. Failure to do this will lead to a lot of misunderstands in the future. Again, the expectation will vary depending on who the child lives with but it’s important that the adults discuss this so they can be effective parents. It’s very difficult when there are conflicting views about raising children. Ultimately the person that is most affected in this is the child.

The biological parents of the child also need to be very clear about what their goals are for the child and should also agree on how the child is to be raised. Of course, there won’t be agreement on everything but there should be a general understand especially in the major areas.

3. How to relate to the other biological parent.

This is especially important when the child lives with you. There’s a lot of drama between parents who may not have separated amicably and sometimes a parent tries to use the child as leverage or even for revenge. This is damaging to the child and will be to your relationship with your spouse so it’s critical that you discuss these issues beforehand.

Find out more about your spouse’s relationship with his/her ex and agree on how you will handle it. Your relationship takes precedence and his/her ex needs to know this and respect this. At the same time, you will need to display some patience as they share a child and should communicate often.

Becoming a stepparent is a major step and should be made with great deliberation. It’s not something to be taken lightly even, especially for someone who do not have children of their own. Talk about it with your partner before marriage, before moving living together; get advice from others who have gone through it; get pre-marital counseling if you can. Stepfamilies and blended families are becoming more popular today and if you want to raise a strong stepfamily, it’s critical that you prepare yourself ahead of time and plan to work at it. You will get great results when you follow these steps.


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Very good articles..

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  about 8 years ago
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