Contemporary thinking in psychology suggests two ways in which the subconscious mind operates; it processes instructions literally and it disregards negatives. When you tell yourself not to blush, your subconscious will ignore the ‘not’ and you get the opposite of what you want. The subconscious carries out ‘do not’ actions as if they were ‘do’ actions. Therefore if you really want to change your behavior, you must translate your wants into positive statements and focus upon those. Therefore, “I remain cool and relaxed” would work better as an instruction, than “don’t blush”.

The evidence is out there in front of you. Think about all the people you know; socially, professionally, relatives. Now which of them are the most satisfied with their achievements in life would you say? I’ll bet they are the cheerful, upbeat ones who look on bright side of everything. You might find that the least content complain about their lot in life, blame external factors for their own lack of achievement and generally have a pessimistic outlook. Those who think positively are the most satisfied. Or possibly, those who are the most satisfied think positively.

This article is not really about positive thinking, it is about decisive thinking. You already know how difficult it can be to remain decisive when you’re feeling anxious, or worried, or your mood is not positive. But almost without exception, whatever thoughts fill your mind, whether in an overwhelming or out of control way, or in a highly focused way, are the thoughts that get fulfilled most often. Henry Ford knew it: “Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can’t, you are usually right.” You get lots of what you mostly dwell on.

People like Henry Ford are a good example of what this article is about. He had little education, or skill in his chosen field. Those who knew him said that the single thing that set him above all others was his determination to have what he wanted – even things that others (with the education and skill) said were impossible. And he got what he sought. As well as his determination, he needed one other thing; the vision of what he wanted. Ford and others like him let their ambitions and determination dominate their thinking, and action follows thought. It comes naturally to them; they just do it without needing to consciously think about what they are doing.

So, I believe that the way to control anxiety is to focus determinedly on a preferred emotion. Don’t make anxiety the center of attention, or think about Anxiety or Stress Management. You’re setting yourself up to fail. What you think about most you’ll get in abundance. If you label yourself as anxious, or panicky, or nervy, you make it more likely that that is what you will be. I believe that how to treat anxiety is by focusing your mind and effort on becoming calm and relaxed and composed. Tranquility Management would be a better alternative.

Channel your energies towards achieving serenity and peace, and when the anxiety begins (it will, you can’t avoid it) counteract it by focusing as deliberately as you can on being tranquil. Be on the lookout for all the methods for finding peace that you can; there is a lot of information available both free and to buy. It will take practice to keep a determined focus on peacefulness, most especially when you are under pressure. But you’ve everything to gain and nothing to lose by trying. Resolve to keep going and I know it will pay off in the end.