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How To Interview
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How to Interview

How to Get a Job

“How can I get this job?” This is the question you should be asking yourself before any interview. You already got the interview, congratulations; I am going to show you exactly how to get your new job.

What is an interview?

Well it’s a 5-10 minute window where your potential employer will find every reason NOT to hire you. They are looking for how prepared you are for the interview, how you walk, talk, smell, dress, how you shake their hand etc. yes, credentials are important for qualifications, but you already know your qualified for the job; if you’re not, you should not have applied in the first place. What about an interview that scares so many people? Pretty much everything I just mentioned, it can be stressful looking at someone who is analyzing every aspect of your dress, speech, and composure. Fear not! I will walk you through everything you need to know to get the job!

They keys to how to get a job

• Your appearance!

Before you do anything research how people dress at the job you are applying for. If you are applying for a place where people are wearing suit and ties your leather jacket from the 80’s is not the best idea, if you don’t believe me go ahead and try it; let me know how that goes. Professional places do not enjoy tattoos, piercings, or crazy hairstyles, be an individual but don’t go in with a Mohawk (Mohawks look terrible even outside of an interview). Dress accordingly and respectfully to make sure you make a good first impression, but don’t overdo it. Monocle and a top hat, that’s too much, unless you’re the monopoly man; in that case grow a white mustache and you’re in the clear. Finally, Another tip to remember is do NOT wear colognes of perfumes, our sense of smell is most sensitive to our memory banks and could cause your interviewer to subconsciously not like you, IE ex-boyfriend/girlfriends etc…. just take a shower and you will be fine.

• In the interview

This is where the rubber meets the road; while in the interview there are a few guidelines we need to go over, silly or not, you will surely not get the job if you break theses. First off, if your interview has a defect and/or amorality do NOT stare or bring attention to it, they are well aware it is there. If you can tell when someone is staring at anything but your eyes, someone looking for eye contact will too. Which leads me to my second point, always always always keep eye contact with your employer; the floor, the wall, or his double chin can give a damn about where you went to college. Another huge point is THIS IS THE INTERVIEW, hold your flatulent gasses until you pass the rude receptionist on your way out the door. Talk about a mood killer, in any circumstance. Finally, stay calm, speak casually, keep the mood light, laugh, enjoy and yourself and let your interviewer relax a little bit. This will make him enjoy being around you and if you’re in for the interview, so are at least 10 other candidates who didn’t have the pleasure of reading this article.

• Extra tips to lock in YOUR job

Your already a step ahead of your competition, the job is practically yours; now let’s lock it in to be thorough. Remember these few tips and the job is yours. While in the interview be genuine, and compliment his/her achievement on the wall/desk but NOT HIS WIFE, he knows she is hot so do not be a creep! For extra brownie points research your employer before the interview and ask him about his accomplishments, let face it, people love to talk about their successes. If you forget everything I just told you remember this, girls too, when you shake your employers hand have a FIRM handshake, nobody likes a wimpy hand shake. If you give a whimsy pus-shake lower yourself and curtsy to him, it’s the same difference.

I hope these tips were helpful to you and would really appreciate feedback to continue to making these better and more productive to others.


Street Talk

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