This Article is About
natural instinct
time flies
blind panic
logical conclusion
menial tasks
counter top
time passes
speed of light
Time: How To Slow It Down - Really!
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Time: How to Slow it Down  -  really!

I discovered this process some years ago; it was a logical conclusion based on certain factors. I believe it was Mr. Einstein who stated that (the speed of) light was constant but time wasn’t. Well, currently, the jury is still out regarding his light theory but I can prove his observation about time, so here goes:

Time gentlemen, please: Anyone who has worked behind the bar of a public house will tell you that when the pub is short of customers, which, due to current legislation, must be more common than of earlier, happier times, that they find time passes by terribly slowly and that they have to fill their allotted time by doing menial tasks such as: re-stocking the shelves, checking the till (not for pilfering purposes, of course but merely to verify the necessary amount of change is available) or just wiping the counter top, a familiar action seen when entering any empty pub. All of this is generally known as Clock-Watching.

Then later on, as the bar gets more and more busy, they’ll complain that they are “rushed off their feet” trying to keep the clientele happy and well-supplied with beverage and don’t have the time to wash glasses etc. It’s at this particular period that I wish to draw your attention to…

Time flies: It’s true! When you find yourself distracted, over-occupied or just plain busy, the natural instinct is to speed up in order to win or gain extra time. This is pure fallacy. In actual fact, the opposite is true, as I’ll explain in due course.

Take into account also; it is when one finds oneself in an emergency situation, such as a rush to the nearest hospital in the back of an ambulance accompanying a near-fatal accident victim that the converse form of Clock-Watching occurs, when one wishes that there was: simply more time, please God!!

Time (or more haste, less speed): Absolutely true! When you are a bit pressed for time, the trick is, instead of flying into a blind panic and therefore creating also sorts of un-accounted-for mayhem, the thing to do is to physically and mentally - slow down. It may sound contradictory but I know this method works because I’ve put it into practise many times in the past and will continue to do so. When you actually analyse it, it’s intriguing how much distance can be covered in a relatively short time, be it on foot or otherwise and it’s a good thought to hang onto when the need arises. Go on, try it, you’ll be surprised!

Time Bandits: No, I’m not referring to the movie; I’m talking about a certain type of individual: the Serial-Late-Comer (SLC), they steal other peoples’ time. One SLC, I happen to be closely related to (and you know who you are, dearly beloved sister), is so good at this that she’s been known to be more than 24 hours behind schedule. I was a witness (and victim) to this extraordinary and probably record-breaking incident (another story though).

On a different occasion (our mother’s funeral service) she’d arrived half an hour behind time and, it being the norm, made no apologies, just the usual string of factors that had contributed or “conspired” to her tardiness. Someone at the time had whispered that she would probably be late for her own funeral at which point another sister grumpily remarked in response: “She already bloody is!”

Time, attitude, aptitude and altitude: A large proportion of the population find this kind of behaviour, not only extremely rude but downright unacceptable. If you are a punctual type, you can organise your life to be-on-time-come-what-may. However, not in my sister’s case. Her life seems to be a constant stream of disasters and dysfunctional bits of equipment; washing machine, T.V., phone, car….Is it the law of attraction, I ask myself? …Yes, probably.

The altitude thing was just slipped in because it fitted poetically, although I believe that the further you are from earth (though you have to be quick about this) the more time slows down (don’t quote me).

Okay, we are all potentially threatened by the, so-called “Uncertainty Principle” (read: quantum stuff for more on this) but slowing time down seems to counter-act this, almost as if by, dare I say it, magic?

Therefore, I reiterate: When you’re pressed, don’t get stressed. Just breathe deeply and slowly and know that you have more time on your hands than you need. In other words, just plod! (If not, you’ll wear yourself out for nothing)…

…And if you have been, thanks for reading.

Street Talk


Greetings Kim! Thanks for responding to my article. I read your article a few days ago. An interesting article. What I really liked was the different scenarios you outlined and the practical approach to each.

  about 1 decade ago

Hi Dane, is that your name? or Di? anyway I thank you for your comments. Keep up the good work!

  about 1 decade ago
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