This Article is About
shades of grey
blush
Fifty Shades Of Grey…more Like Fifty Shades Of Ridiculous!
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

With all the hype that has been surrounding this book, I felt sure it had to be a great read. I asked my friends whether I was “missing out” on something by not reading it. The answer was mostly an empathic yes, from those now acquainted with Mr Christian Grey! So, I decided to take the plunge…no pun intended!

I started reading and I was shocked…shocked by the complete lack of literary skills! The writing is at best, questionable…atrocious and contrived at worst! It is reminiscent of something my Granny could have written…with euphemisms such as, “he touched my sex”, “something was happening down there.“ What’s wrong with just saying plain old vagina? The only saving grace is that she didn’t start calling it a hoo hoo, flower, nin, mini, ladygarden, Va JJ, coochie, or some other ridiculous analogy!

To say the book has a plot – would be an entire stretch of the imagination…even more so than the ludicrous characters!

Ana, who is clearly “a total babe,” according to her friend Kate. From virgin “never been touched” to submissive, S&M, porn star queen, sex slave in a matter of a few weeks…Really? How on earth did this happen? Particularly when poor, poor Ana blushes at EVERYTHING!…He looks at me I blush, he says my name I blush, I think a thought I blush, he buys me a tea I blush, he runs his hand through his hair I blush, I look at him I blush, bleeeeuurrgghh!

I’m actually surprised her head didn’t explode, or that she didn’t at least have a stroke, when they had sex! Hasn’t she heard of corrective makeup? Even if she is the absolute naive, clumsy mouse that she pretends to be, she’s supposed to have friends! The world wise Kate “she’s so beautiful” Kavanagh for one! Who I’m beginning to think is a total bitch for letting Ana walk around with a face that’s, quite clearly, as red as a baboon’s bum!

Furthermore, Ana seems to have the dexterity of a brick! Unable to perform simple tasks such as tying up her hair. She constantly had an “escaping tendril of hair”…Seriously, if that thing had escaped once more, I was pleading with Grey to shave her head!!

Now, step forward Mr Grey, total Nutjob! I’m somewhat bemused as to the ridiculous fascination with this Mr Christian Grey. He is seemingly portrayed, on the surface, as an absolutely beautiful, charming, charismatic Adonis who is far too beautiful for Ana. Let’s face it, he’s an over privileged, arrogant, egotistical, misogynistic, control freak billionaire, with sadistic tendencies where he likes to hit and hurt women, and he has a purpose built Domination S&M, sex “playroom” in his house…

Now, we all know he’s got some dark secret and is damaged…Considering he was the son of some crackhead whore, was adopted, and then seduced at the age of 15 by one of his mother’s friends and introduced to the world of Domination, S&M…who wouldn’t be!

I’m also not entirely sure that Mr Grey isn’t from another planet, as allegedly he has a very long index finger, which is mentioned one or fifty times (placing said “tendril” back behind Ana’s ear)…I can’t help but now imagine, that his hand is on a par with that of the hand of ET!

Will I be reading Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed – not likely! I am, however, off to write Fifty Shades of Normal…


Street Talk

ada  

The most boring, slow paced and repetitive book I have ever read..soooo badly written and so unrealistic. I wasted my money

Reply
  about 1 decade ago
Melinda 1  

Yawn boring

Reply
  about 1 decade ago
You May Also Like
50 Shades Of Grey Sucks
"I've just finished reading 50 shades of grey and I'm surprised to discover I'm a masochist. There appears to be no other reason to justify me choosing to experience so much drawn out pain by reading such a poorly written book." - Rob11, 50 Shades of Grey Book Review Comments…
By: Kevin A.M. Lewis in  Writing and Speaking  >  Writing   Sep 17, 2012  
1
  Likes: 4

50 Shades Of Grey - A Phenomenon Of Feeling
The Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy, written by E.L. James, has been and continues to be a phenomenon! There is no other way to describe it. But now the question is Why? Without condoning in any way much of what happens in the book, it is all about submission, feelings…
By: David van Zijl in  Book Reviews  >  Fiction   Dec 12, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

Cinderella The Explicit Cut - E L James: Fifty Shades Of Grey
Remember the times when sex was this great mystery which could set your heart pumping whenever you heard it mentioned? If you miss feeling that youthful excitement regarding physical love, Fifty Shades of Grey is what you need. As the fastest selling paperback of all time, the news of this…
By: Jasmine Mayfair in  Book Reviews  >  Romance   Nov 22, 2012  
0
  Likes: 1

Fifty Shades Of Grey - #1 New York Times Bestseller List is it Worthy
In general, married women seem to be all over this book and giving 50 Shades of Grey its popularity and rise to fame. EL James has written a barnburner for sure, which doesn’t come without criticism, there seems to be no shortage of opinions on this book. Can I say…
By: Tim Bashista in  Book Reviews  >  Fiction   Jul 27, 2012  
17
  Likes: 5

Grasp Your Power - A Guide to Writing Good Fight Scenes
Exhibit A: The king beckoned the prince forward. The boy lunged, and they began to dance around the court, their swords blurring with each stroke. In short order, the boy was brought to his knees before the king, staring down the end of his blade. Exhibit B: The king beckoned…
By: Kevin A.M. Lewis in  Writing and Speaking  >  Creative Writing   Sep 08, 2012  
2
  Likes: 1

What's Health for You?
Health for most people means the state of no illness or injury. Health means a person's physical or mental condition. For the health conscious 21st Century person health means much more. For example when I asked my friends these came up: No illness, no sickness Healthy, capable body Good energy…
By: Piroska Varga in  Health and Fitness  >  Alternative   Aug 16, 2013  
4
  Likes: 8

Top 5 Gifts For Her This Christmas
Choosing gifts for Christmas can be a tricky matter, and some of us find it a real challenge having to do it year after year! However, if you’re really stuck for ideas this Christmas, why not consider these 5 great Christmas gift ideas for the special lady in your life.…
By: mick leach in  Shopping and Product Reviews  >  Gifts   Sep 21, 2012  
0
  Likes: 0

50 Shades Of Grey Book Review
There is a great chance that you might have heard about the book called 50 Shades Of Grey. This book is authored by a British author E. L. James, and Set largely in Seattle, it is the first book out of the series which recounts the deepening relationship between a…
By: Val2 in  Book Reviews   Jun 21, 2012  
192
  Likes: 1603

Road Cycling In Winter
My Number One Winter Cycling Tip. When winter arrives, the first you must do is to pack away anything white. White clothing is a nightmare in winter, especially socks which bear the brunt of wet oily road grime, and after a wet winter ride never quite look the same. White…
By: Mike Dowsing in  Recreation and Sports  >  Cycling   Oct 12, 2011  
0
  Likes: 2

The Fifty Shades Phenomenon
If you live on planet Earth, then surely you must have heard of the Fifty Shades Trilogy. Fifty Shades Trilogy is a love story, divided in three novels, all written by E.L James. By the end of July, the Fifty Shades Trilogy had sold 20 million copies in the United…
By: Jo Green in  Book Reviews  >  Fiction   Aug 19, 2012  
2
  Likes: 5

Latest Fashion News: The Hottest: Tip Of the Week: This Summer’s Rules!
Fashion cannot go without some rules to cover it! Here are this summer’s latest fashion news and rules that will keep you in at all times! Do you want to survive the fashion critiques this summer? Do you want to be in, in any way possible, and never be stopped…
By: themakeover in  Womens Interests   Jun 07, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

How To Choose The Right False Eyelashes
Not everyone has long or thick lashes naturally. While many women try to remedy a lack of a full lash line by using mascara, this method can lead to that dreaded spider look. A much better alternative is to wear false eyelashes. But where to start? There are so many…
By: Edmund Brunetti in  Womens Interests   Jun 07, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Home Remedies Method to Get Rid Of Pimple Marks
Hello, I am Meenu Nandwana, I am a hairstylist and makeup expert in pune. On the off chance that you are here that implies you are experiencing eventual outcomes of pimple i.e. pimple scars or pimple marks. There are such a variety of items are accessible in the business sector,…
By: meenu12 in  Womens Interests   Jun 07, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Summer Beauty: The Best Products for Sun - kissed, 'no Make - up' Skin
Warmer weather fast approaches and the beauty look of the season calls upon a trifecta of bronzed, dewy skin and gloriously-flushed cheeks. A recurring theme for spring/summer, there is something reassuring about that glistening hyper glow that imbues the world of beauty at this time of year. It’s easy-to-understand beauty,…
By: Florjgross in  Womens Interests  >  Self Defense   Jun 07, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Beauty Benefits Of Homely Products
Girls tend to spend loads of cash in purchasing beauty products. However, some products prove to be useful thereby providing desirable results while others prove to be a waste. They just don’t prove to be useful like the way they are portrayed. My idea of enjoying the beauty benefits is…
By: niks1 in  Womens Interests  >  Beauty Products   Jun 06, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Article Views: 3869    Report this Article