This Article is About
menopause
crows feet
trick questions
bottle of wine
body changes
middle age
werewolf
Menopause, Men Pause, Or Beware – The Change Of Life, That Earns A Man A Medal
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Menopause, Men Pause, Or Beware – The Change Of Life, That Earns A Man A Medal

Menopausal, pre-menopausal, post-menopausal, the change of life that earns a man a medal. Men, pause, think before you speak, this could be a time of heat. Menopause a women's time of life where she has hot flushes and her body changes. Men, if you want to feel the heat don't touch your wife, just say the wrong thing, look at her the wrong way, or sometimes, just look at her.

The march of time, the arrival of middle age, the ending of monthly cycles, all seems to much for a women and then to top it all, she's blessed with periods of hot flushes. Now believe it or not, it's all your fault, earlier years you used, abused, took advantage and generally mishandled the goods, according to her. She's lost her looks, gained “crows feet” around the eyes, wrinkles have appeared and her bottoms dropped, not to mention a realignment in the breasts. Did you notice any of this change? “No” you'll tell her, “too much damn TV and not enough looking at me” the normal answer.

As their image of themselves change, their attitude of love for the man that's stood by her side all this time also changes. You become the Werewolf of her life, the ogre of contempt, the very reason for her ageing, the fact of time marching on, is neither here nor there. This is when the trick questions begin, and of this one must beware, think carefully before answering a question posed, normally, when you least expect it. The time has arrived in the cycle of romance when the need to return to dating returns.

This time of dating is not the same as when you went a courting, the evenings of a good meal, a shared bottle of wine with a cuddle and kissing session after. That, in fact could cause you to sleep with the dog outside, this is a date where you tiptoe around, carefully avoiding anything that could set them off.

What are the items that can set them off? There is no set rules to this and the female specie has a mind of her own that differs from one to the other. A mouthful of food can turn into a crying spell, you'll sit back and ask what's wrong. Mistake, you will now hear how you used to do that, whatever it was she saw behind your back. It might be a youngster that loving leans over to wipe a crumb from his beloveds mouth.

“Did you do that in the past?” you'll think, and then say something stupid, like “I don't do that any more, because people might think at your age you've lost control and now dribbling”. This will lead to another crying bout as you now think she's old and loosing control of her senses. It can also quickly change to a fit of temper, “So you think I'm looking old now?” this a trick question.

You can hardly answer “No dear you look the same age as when I met you”, this'll be construed as excessively condescending. So what do you answer to it? “You've kept your age well, my dear” oh no, wrong answer, now you have told a lie and she knows it. An answer in the vain of “You are still looking good for your age, and I love you as much as when we first met” might just get you out of trouble. It is a two-sided sword, you've admitted that she is looking older, but covered your backside with a confession to love and that is what might just save you.

This is what you younger men must now start to practice, the answers that cover both sides, learn to think before you answer. The changing of feet, a proverbial disease most men suffer from, can cause you to lose acceptance of a much admired medal. It comes with a certificate that I suggest you place on the wall, to remind your wife you survived the trauma of Menopause.

I give you fair warning, when your wife is lying in bed on her back and is looking at her chest area and asks “where did they go?” don't answer “they're hiding in your arm pits”, run out of the room, laugh or answer if you like, but be it at your own peril.


Street Talk

Lemuel  

Interesting. As I was reading, there was a certain point where I thought I'm already seeing my future. Nicely done, Rob. I think I will refer to this article in the years to come.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Don't worry, its not all that bad, in fact I think most women merely have the hot flushes which must be very uncomfortable, this is just a bit of a dig at the women for a reaction.

Reply
  about 7 years ago
Lemuel  

Are you familiar with Fenugreek herb (also known as Greek hay)? It usually grows in the Mediterranean region (but now cultivated worldwide) and is usually a part of their food there. I think Maria knows this one since she wrote an article about Mediterranean diet. In the records, Fenugreek can control/reduce hot flushes.

  
  about 7 years ago

Lemuel have a look at what Maria answered below..

Reply
  about 7 years ago
Lemuel  

Yeah, similar to my notes here but Maria has a better explanation (she knows this herb well). But in some parts of the world, it is available as dietary supplement (which needs to be supervised by trusted health care provider).

  
  about 7 years ago

I find this all so interesting between you and Maria I am learning a lot....

Reply
  about 7 years ago

It was a really funny article Rob. I will give it to my mother to read it! :-)

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Thanks Maria I hope your Mom can't read English. She won't allow you to read my articles again.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Maria read Lemuel's comment above about Fenugreek herb and give us your expert advise.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Hi! Here it is. Fenugreek is a herb that grows in the Mediterranean. It is rich in vitamins and proteins and we use it mostly when cooking. It has a number of healthy benefits and can indeed be helpful during menopause. It gives energy and can help you deal with hormonal disorders. Apart from that it has impact on people with diabetes or cholesterol since it changes a bit the way that the body absorbs the elements from the food. Other than that, Fenugreek is very famous for being an excellent treatment for any dermatological issues. For mommies, it helps with the breast milk. Of course you have to consume an amount of Fenugreek almost everyday in order to make it work but you have to remember always that any of these herbs or spices or any kind of food recommended for a health issue can never replace a medicine that a doctor has prescribed. But it can help. So, feel free to put herbs like this in your diet always together with what your doctor has given if any health problem. That is all I know guys, hope it helped and if you have any other questions feel free to ask. When I have my site ready, which is about Mediterranean foods and diet you will be able to find some information there also. Thanks for asking! :-)

  
  about 7 years ago

Thanks Maria, good information to have. Get that web site up now so we can bother you with such questions.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Oh how wonderful! Just be a little bit patient I have to write a few things first and it will be all yours!

  
  about 7 years ago

Get to it girl we're all waiting....

Reply
  about 7 years ago

I'll do my best as fast as I can. Thank you for the support and I am happy that you find Lemuel' s information and mine so interesting.

  
  about 7 years ago

Was it not you Rob, who told me you can be happy, ir you can be right, the choice is yours, lol

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Can't remember that but won't argue.....

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Rob, you're a troublemaker--that much is plain. Also, don't forget that these articles tell us as much about you as they do about your topic. I was fortunate in that I was at death's doorway at that time, which seemed to grant me immunity, provided I didn't open my stupid mouth. It seems that women are two things--people, and baby-makers. Their tremendous swings during puberty, menses, and menopause represent a colossal retooling of their 'life factories'--think of them as activation, maintenance, and shut-down, respectively. This far greater swinging of their entire bodies' functions goes way beyond our male sequence of descension, permanent rut, and ED. Our abdomens endure nothing worse than a pot belly, we have scant breasts to sag, our months have no interruptions, and our eventual sidelining is more a vague regret than a total disaster of hormonal disequilibrium. Plus, we don't give a damn about wrinkles, gray hair, or really any body-image issue--we go bald, but even that has been countered by the discovery that baldness is related to high testosterone--we become too manly to keep our hair! What a scam...

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Thanks once more for the comment, I tried my best, as challenged, to draw the women on this one and yet it has been a bit slow in coming. I have a article in the pipe line about men's-O-pause, which might just get a bit more reaction from their side. I admit I was lucky with Linda and it if anything was mild, its just she has been through it twice with the hormonal block she has to take for her cancer. Most of the article was made up in my head and from normal Bar Room bolshie one hears when men drink and sling the crap.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

I'm in it right now and am thinking of moving into my caravan.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Some need do just that, others run for the hills, avoidance or diplomacy one or the other.

Reply
  about 7 years ago
Joan S  

Okay Rob, I'm here. You want a peppery woman's point of view. That dear lady is going through a volcanic eruption of spewing hot chemical dysfunction. Have a heart. Her hormones are all screwed up. We're all controlled by hormones. On top of which she is faced with mortality, not just her own, but she's thinking about passage of time and everyone she loves, including her husband. It's a form of midlife crisis.She looks in the mirror and no longer sees an ingenue. And that hormonal imbalance is making her feel physically uncomfortable. Is it any wonder she's an emotional mess? All you have to do is tell her women are far more attractive with a few rings around their trunks. Younger ones don't have the mystery or beauty of someone with the vibrancy of life glowing in their faces. You only married a kid because you didn't know better when you were a kid yourself. And if that doesn't work, help is available. Many women don't get nuts at all. They're just the same all the time. Now Rob, guys go through midlife crisis, depending on when the passage of time hits them. Sometimes it's a physical thing (their hormones change too), and sometimes it's emotional, and sometimes it's both. I have one family member who sat in the basement and drank scotch for three years. And he never drank alcohol in his life. His wife was beside herself. We finally got him through it, and he was fine, but it was midlife crisis. Your article is very humorous, and the stuff comedy is made of. I know it's difficult to know what to do, so may as well see the humor. Well done Rob.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Joan there is nearly enough words here for an article. Wish I could write like this. Good reply.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

James beware, your on my turf here (LOL) , Joan I could not agree with you more Linda has been through it more than once and too be truthful, apart from the discomfort of the flushes she was a perfect partner. Most of this article comes from idle chatter among men who, when with beer in hand, exaggerate terribly. This article came as a challenge from someone else to me and no challenge goes unwritten, I admit I was expecting more of a pounding from the women in the tribe and maybe its still to come, who knows, yet the one in my file at present "Men's-O-pause" will undoubtedly draw a good few comical answers. I love the idea of women gaining a few more rings around their trunks, how would you describe the men's growth rings? I'm glad you saw the humourous side to the article as that is all it was meant to be, I love all women, the more mature, more so. Old fellows like me have few options avail;able to us and as one woman has been prepared to stick it out with me, I have to endure anything she puts me through, and Linda puts me through nothing except her damn cancer, which has presently gone away.

Reply
  about 7 years ago
Joan S  

Hey there Rob, I took no offense. I know you were going for humor and that you were baiting your female audience, so I took the bait. There is no doubt how much you love Linda. And you are right. Some women are like the incubus during that passage.

  
  about 7 years ago
C4rmen  

lol v funny and good advice too. all men need ever say when we women get emotional is "i love u just as much now as the day i met you" ahhh so nice

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Carmen a lesson I learnt many years ago, the right thing at the right time, gets a man out of a lot of trouble.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Very amusing Rob, the onset of time affects us all.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

I'm thank you for the comment, have you seen how silent the Ladies are?

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Calm before the storm? Hunker down!

  
  about 7 years ago

I spend a lot of time on the lake....lol

Reply
  about 7 years ago

That's a good move Captain, never thought of that one. That way you can't say the wrong thing, good thinking.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Dear Rob, You did an excellent, masterful job on this one, you really proved to me that you have mastered the art of knowing,what,where and how to answer any problem that may occur in this area.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Thanks Alfred, my only worry is, as yet no response from the female side. Does this mean they agree with me?

Reply
  about 7 years ago
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