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sarah jessica parker
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50 Shades Of Grey Sucks
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50 Shades Of Grey Sucks

"I've just finished reading 50 shades of grey and I'm surprised to discover I'm a masochist. There appears to be no other reason to justify me choosing to experience so much drawn out pain by reading such a poorly written book." - Rob11, 50 Shades of Grey Book Review Comments

50 Shades of Grey is not a better love story than Twilight.

Forget all the hype, the sales, and the propaganda. It is a book for old ladies with cats and it sucks and I get writer's block just thinking about it.

How many of you have ever actually read erotic fiction? I'm sure a number of you have, or at least seen some pseudo-adult content on TV (Sex and the City anyone?). There's no question that erotica is absorbing stuff. Unlike adult movies and games, they're devoted to their story and their characters have souls. Lustful encounters serve mainly as bait, and are also the only reminders that these literary soap operas are not quite what they appear.

Now, there are two things about erotica that anyone who's paid even the remotest attention to them will notice.

One: the best erotic stories aren't actually rated for their romantic encounters. I'll bring up Sex and the City again, since it's one of the more popular examples. (The books weren't erotica per-say, nor were they that highly lauded, but the show was as much a hit as the 50 Shades of Grey book.) Viewers didn't tune in to see Sarah Jessica Parker's backside. They tuned in for the humor, the romance, and the overall candidness of its story. The story.

Another example I'll give is an old Literotica series called Genie Chronicles, which took the idea of a bombastic sex genie and ran with it. Again, it was about the humor, the romance, the creativity, though it had its share of kinky encounters too. I mean, with a sex genie as one of your protagonists, you would kind of have to go out of your way to not include a subgenre or two's worth of, erm, fun.

Furthermore, the writing had substance and the characters had depth and wit. Relationships didn't define it. It was all about the life and times of a sex genie and her master; the "how they fell in love" part was just a subplot.

Two: the vast bulk of erotic stories are short. Like, really short. Like, one-night-stand short.

Short is sweet. People have low attention spans, and it only goes lower when they're looking to warm their eggs; the quicker they can get to the action, the more likely they'll be to actually finish the piece. Even erotic series, if they ever go past volume one, are mostly classified as novellas. It's all in the business of pocketing your attention.

If these are the standards to go by--and I, for one, do go by them--then 50 Shades of Grey fails on all counts as quality erotic literature. It is neither short nor features a riveting story. It is long and repetitive. It is repetitive and long.

This is coming from a guy who's read up to book nine of The Wheel of Time.

No, it's not about the sex scenes. I hear you whining over there. "Erotica is about sex, you dummy!" Geez. Any writer worth his salt can write engaging sex scenes. Quality erotic literature, like all literature, depend on their plot to pull them through.

And speaking of writing, the writing in 50 Shades of Grey isn't all that good. I wouldn't label it as bad, but Genie Chronicles could run metaphorical circles around it in a vocabulary contest.

In summary: 50 Shades of Grey is a bizarre experiment on the human populace that successfully demonstrates a growing disconnect in the mainstream media between masterful and evoking literature. And, on a personal note, it's also an effective slap in the face for young women everywhere. (But then again, what isn't these days?)


Street Talk

Wow is all I have to say after seeing some of these comments. lol People do really fall into the hype I guess. Now if only I could get that same hype...but with backing it up! I welcome anyone to read any or all 4 of my erotic books and be able to give the same feedback I've seen here. For excerpts go to my site. Then buy a book ;) Peace~

Reply
  about 6 years ago
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